No one goes in to a marriage thinking they'll get divorced but the reality is that around 1/3 of marriages in the UK since 1964 end there and it will be interesting to see the effects of the last two years caused by the pandemic. You might be surprised to her that the over 45's age group are 3 and half more times likely to get divorced than the younger 25-35 yr olds. With this in mind perhaps we need to start really talking about it more and having more open conversations on what it's really like to have to go through.
This weeks guest is Author, Lissa Collier. Lissa wrote the book Big Girl Pants taking you on her 2 year journey, from her husband’s shock decision to get divorced right through to her brand-new life – with every bumpy step along the way. It has a simple aim: to help you overcome common stumbling blocks to getting through divorce amicably. Big Girl Pants will help you through it with your head held high, and put you firmly in control of your future.
Lissa shares her 5 tips on how to achieve an amicable divorce with your mental wellbeing at the heart of it all.
I love how these rules can be applied to so many other areas in life and not just in divorce.
1. Keep your eyes on the prize: Remember the outcome you want e.g. happy, well adjusted kids
2. Life’s not fair suck, it up: it’s not fair that you ex is behaving like that but you can’t control them. All you can do is control how you react to them.
3. Let that shit go: it will be so tempting to play tit for tat or to argue your side. But all that does is add fuel to the fire. Let their comments or negativity land in the bin. Keep communications functional and unemotive. As tempting as it will be, do not engage. Don’t take the bait. It’s what they want. Let that shit go.
4. Look after yourself: it can be exhausting trying to let shit go. Emotionally draining. Look after you. Get out for a walk. Shout at sheep or talk to a therapist, whatever you need to keep your head (and body) in a good place.
5. Keep f*cking going: this may feel relentless but eventually it will pass. You’re doing great. Just keep on going. There is so much happiness on the other side.
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(Music credited to Scott Holmes- By Big Adventure
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