A Brief Encounter in Bahrain, Magical Maldives

A Groupon Mystery Getaway Adventure, would you take the plunge?

The Maldives is a dream destination, a once in a lifetime, bucket list holiday for most of us

In a post Covid world, foreign holidays and staycations appear to be rather more expensive as the tourism industry gets back on its feet and bids to recoup lost revenue. If you’re adventurous like us, happy to explore and visit new places, why not try something a little different? We booked a Groupon Mystery Getaway, where you only find out your destination once you’ve paid for your voucher.

With a choice of around 60 global destinations, we thought it would be a great way to kick off our new venture into the world of travel blogging.

We were expecting a 2-night break to Amsterdam or maybe even Venice. We were astounded when Groupon confirmed we were going to the Maldives, one of our dream destinations, for a week!

Now, before you get carried away, whilst the voucher will cost from around £90, you’ll need to factor in additional costs. Check-in hold luggage, transfers, additional days, preferred departure airports and a few other additional extras may not be included. You may also travel off-season but if you read and understand the small print, you’ll probably still come away with somewhat of a bargain.

We had a pretty good experience with the whole process and have no complaints.

Unplanned Bahrain

Our dream trip didn’t get off to a great start. An e-mail from Gulf Air advised our flight from Manchester was delayed by over 6 hours which meant we would miss our connection in Bahrain and onward flight to Malé in the Maldives.

Our unscheduled layover would mean missing a day of our holiday at the Malahini Kuda Bandos resort. Despite the seemingly interminable queuing at Bahrain International Airport, waiting for our luggage and finally a transfer to a hotel at 4:30am, we decided to try and make the most of our time in a new City.

After a few hours rest, we jumped in an Uber (BHD 4.05 / £9.00) and took a trip to the Qal’at Al-Bahrain: Ancient Harbour and Capital of Dilmun, also known as the Bahrain Fort; a designated UNESCO World Heritage Site.

The site is a typical “tell”, an artificial mound created by successive layers of human occupation dating from around 2300 BC to the 16^th Century. Archaeological investigations show that the site was occupied over the years by Kassites (Babylonians), Greeks, Portuguese and Persians and was a key ancient trading port in the Middle East.

https://whc.unesco.org/en/list/1192/

Malahini Kuda Bandos

Back to the hotel to freshen up and get ready for our 23:00pm flight to Malé. The Maldives is an archipelago of around 1200 individual islands grouped into 26 natural atolls where tourism is the largest industry welcoming 1.6m tourists in 2022.

https://visitmaldives.com/en

The 5-hour night flight means you get to experience the most beautiful sunrise as you fly over the archipelago, make sure you get that window seat as the views are simply stunning.

The Maldives Archipelago

We arrived at Velana International Airport to be greeted by our resort representative and shown to our speedboat for a quick 15-minute transfer to Malahini.

If you’ve never visited the Maldives before, it’s everything you would expect, and more. It really is a dream destination, islands emerge from turquoise-coloured seas, palm trees sway gently in the breeze, beach villas on the shoreline entice you in. A feast for the eyes and senses, your shoulders drop and chill-time kicks in.

We were warmly welcomed by the friendly team at reception; as we arrived at around 8am, our room wasn’t quite ready, but they provided us with a drink and cold towels to refresh ourselves. We were then able to dump our luggage, slip into our flip-flops and enjoy a leisurely breakfast overlooking the Indian Ocean.

Protecting Nature

As we had already been in touch with the Malahini team about a Social Media collaboration, we met up with Zimaam, the resort Marketing and Communications manager who warmly welcomed us to Malahini and gave us a personal tour of the island; you can stroll around the resort in about 15 minutes.

The 4 Star Malahini Kuda Bandos Resort is now 6 years old, and in a world where environmental and climate concerns are at the forefront of our minds, they strive to reduce the impact of their guests on the environment. From investing in solar power and water purification systems, the use of glass water bottles and reducing single use plastics, they have also left the natural foundations of the island largely untouched. The sand moves freely under the buildings; there has been no dredging or installation of artificial wave breaks and the island has been left as natural as possible.

There is rich, natural vegetation on Malahini, a beautiful pathway leads you from one side of the island to the other. As to be expected in the Tropics, there are a few insects, but even the mozzies are kept at bay with natural measures, no insecticide or fumigation is used at all.

Time to Relax

We stayed in a Sunrise Beach Pool Villa; located along the shoreline, these are 100 sq m luxurious modern villas with a blend of vintage Maldivian interiors, an open air shower and bathroom, a private pool, jacuzzi and a sunbathing deck whilst offering a fabulous view of the dazzling sunrise.

After such a long journey, we couldn’t help but feel relaxed and pampered in our new surroundings. The outdoor pool and jacuzzi were just what we needed to recuperate; the peace, tranquility and privacy of our own sun deck with just the sound of the Indian Ocean waves lapping on the shore was the perfect location for a recuperating snooze in the shade.

Floating Pool Breakfast

A Warm Welcome

Man in pool looking at the maldives ocean

Time to Relax

Although this is one of the Maldives’s smaller islands with 82 rooms, the choice of accommodation, restaurants, bars, amenities, and facilities is just about right. The main Maaga restaurant serves a good range of buffet style food, and the Bluu beach bar has evening entertainment and is perfect for watching the sunset with snacks and a long cold drink.

There is a decent sized gym, the fabulous Alizé spa offers numerous treatments and the Marine and Recreation Hub provides great water sport options from snorkelling, kayaking, jet-skiing, and scuba diving. You can enjoy anything from a 30-minute paddleboard to a full day’s fishing or scuba expedition with expert, Padi qualified guides. If you like swimming with sharks, turtles, and sting rays, this is a great location.

Island Life

The beaches here at Malahini are as you’d expect for a Maldivian island. Gorgeous white sandy beaches, clear turquoise sea with plenty of sunbeds available for sun worshippers. The snorkelling just a few metres from the shore is amazing, you can expect to see all sorts of fish, rays and even sharks close to the reef.

The coral reef can be sharp and rocky underfoot in places, we found water shoes useful to help protect our delicate city feet.

There is a relaxed, Island Life vibe here at Malahini; you’ll spend most of your time in swimwear and beach attire, no need for formal wear, posh frocks or even shoes.

On our last night, we were treated to a private tree top Evening High Tea, featuring delicious cakes, cookies, savoury pastries, and fresh fruit all whilst watching a fabulous sunset.

Maldivian Sunset

Evening High Tea

Sweet Treats

As one of the smaller Maldivian islands, Malahini is perfect for a quiet, relaxed holiday; just 15 minutes from Velana airport, it is somewhere you can really embrace Island Life, lie back and switch off for a while.

Our heartfelt thanks to ALL the crew at Malahini Kuda Bandos, from the front of house, gardeners, cleaners, reception, restaurant staff and chefs we had a truly fabulous experience at one of our dream destinations and would love to come back and see you all again very soon.

https://www.malahini.mv/#/

Mark & Rachel Peru

Free To Be

Follow our Socials @FreeToBe50

https://linktr.ee/freetobe50

All photographs ©Mark Peru

Published by Mark Peru in Blog, Travel

Tags: beach, blog, midlife influencers, midlife travel, paradise, photography, travel

July 1, 2023

Best swimwear for 2023

Head to the beach with confidence this summer with some of the best swimwear for 2023

I've been trying and testing out some new swimwear on my recent trip to the Maldives so I thought it would be good to share some of my favourites with you.It's a tough job but someone's got to do it!

I used to dread planning my swimwear for summer holidays, worrying about losing weight and looking for swimsuits that held me in and covered me up in all the right places. I get it, for some Summer is a time you may feel more uncomfortable in our bodies. Feeling the pressure to diet and lose weight for those two weeks away at the beach. I’ve been there and wasted far too many summers worrying about what i looked like instead of really enjoying being in the moment.

Let’s face it, it doesn’t help that most of the swimwear images you see are so unrelatable; full of younger women in their twenties so at 50 you feel like you don't stand a chance!

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll already know I share a lot of images of me wearing swimwear, I love the freedom good supportive swimwear brings you so here’s some of my favourite swimwear for 2023.

Bridie & Bert Swimwear

I’ve recently discovered an independent brand called Bridie and Bert and I’m already a big fan. The brand was founded in 2021 and remains predominantly a towelling brand, their soft hipster towelling shorts and cosy robes are fabulous quality too. The brand describes its self as being “simple and uncomplicated but one that I hope you will enjoy for many years to come” and after wearing their swimwear I can imagine it will remain a firm favourite in my beach wardrobe.

I felt like a 1950’s beach babe in the Melissa strappy swimsuit. The cut is super flattering with the added versatility of adjustable straps from straight to cross over, whichever you prefer.

As I am bigger busted (34G) I rarely wear anything with extra padding, but I liked the shape it gave me so kept the removable padding in.

Available up to a size 18

If you prefer a two piece, then you’ll love the high waisted ditsy floral Mary Bikini. I used to shy away from wearing low bikini tops, but I’ve got over that now and I felt confident wearing this set. Like the swimsuit is has adjustable straps from straight to cross over and the cut of the leg is just right, not too high, or low.

Available up to a size 20. I’m wearing a size and in future I’d probably size up as I just about stayed in the top all day!

Both the swimsuit and bikini are available in Apple & White and Rose & White.

Whilst they might both seem a little pricey at £79.95, I really do feel like you’re buying a quality swimsuit that would last you for plenty of summers to come.

https://bridieandbert.com/products/copy-of-mary-bikini-ditsy-floral-tie-side-bikini-rose-and-white

https://bridieandbert.com/products/melissa-swimsuit-ditsy-floral-strappy-swimsuit

Curvy Kate Wrapsody

https://bridieandbert.com/products/melissa-swimsuit-ditsy-floral-strappy-swimsuitIf you’re looking for something that’s versatile this summer, then I can’t recommend the Curvy Kate wrapsody collection. I think this is the most versatile swimwear I’ve tried and there’s so many ways you can wear it, including creating looks that take you from the beach to the bar. The Luxe strapless bra leaves you feeling well supported too. I have the wrapsody red swimsuit and the black bikini and love them.

https://www.curvykate.com/products/curvy-kate-wrapsody-bandeau-swimsuit-red

https://www.curvykate.com/products/curvy-kate-wrapsody-bandeau-bikini-top-black

River Island #wishlist

I keep seeing images of this River Island Black Plunge bikini set and I absolutely love it. I haven’t managed to try it yet as its currently out of stock in a size 16 but it’s giving me serious Ursula Andress vibes and the gold band and buckle detail is a winner. Available in Green and Gold and goes up to a size 18. The material is scuba so that’s a good indication that it will hold things in place too.

Reasonably priced. The top is £32 and bottoms £22.

River Island Womens Black Plunge Buckle Bikini Top

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-high-waisted-bikini-bottoms-758871

Supermarket Swimwear with F&F

Don't dismiss the supermarket clothing brands this summer. F&F have some great pieces at reasonable prices. I particularly like the Tummy control swimsuit with an overall black and white print. It has adjustable straps with a flattering deep v shape. This swimsuit also comes in lime green, blue striped and red.

Available at Next https://www.next.co.uk/g764000s1/955891#955891

Bravissimo Bikini

Last but not least if you’re looking to add a bit of bold colour to your beach wear how about this fabulous bright orange Cancun bikini from Bravissimo. I’m obsessed by this fun set, the colour and cut is super flattering and it’s underwireed too, so extra supportive for those larger busts like me.
I teamed the crop bikini top with wide legged trousers for an easy beach to bar look too.

Available up to a J cup too.

Bikini top £42.00

I’m wearing the Cancun swim bottoms £24 but there’s also a high waisted bottom available £26.

https://www.bravissimo.com/products/cancun-bikini-top-sw887/#neon-orange-sw887neo

We Are We Wear

There's lots of reasons why I love this swimwear brand. We Are We Wear is an independent, black-owned business, created in 2019.

The founders, Natalie and Chelsea, quit their jobs to and set out on a mission to challenge the culture of unrealistic body standards we face today. Using their combined experience working for one of Britain’s biggest online retailers, they turned their vision into a reality with their inclusive, eco-friendly brand. Representation matters and they are passionate about showing up for all women and it's they carry this though, it's not just tokenism!

Another big tick is their use of regenerated industrial plastics, marine waste and fabric scraps to create the fabrics across our swimwear collections

I wore this Paper print Tilly crop top bikini set and sarong on our recent trip along the North Yorkshire coast and it was the perfect colour combination to brighten up some typical British summer weather!

Paper print Tilly crop top £28.00 - https://wearewewear.com/products/paper-print-tilly-crop-bikini-top

Mid rise Paper print Sonia bikini bottoms £22.00 - https://wearewewear.com/products/paper-print-sonia-mid-rise-bikini-bottoms

Maria sarong £22.00- https://wearewewear.com/collections/all-swimwear-01/products/paper-print-tilly-crop-bikini-top

Ditch the rules!

When it comes to choosing swimwear, all I can tell you is to ditch the rules and wear what makes YOU feel good and to hell with what anyone else thinks. If you're a swimsuit woman that's great, if you prefer to wear a two piece that's fabulous too, there is no right way, whatever makes you have the most body confidence. I've heard so many women share opinions on both and it's time we stopped judging one another. I love wearing bikinis because they make me feel free, but I totally understand other women feel better in a one piece.

There are so many different styles out there that accommodate all shapes and sizes. Think of your swimwear like your lingerie, it’s all about the fit so take the time to try them on properly; shopping from home has never been easier, which takes away the pressure of shop changing rooms

Whatever you wear, enjoy your Summer, and hold your head up high.

Repeat after me...

“I AM GORGEOUS
I AM BEAUTIFUL
MY BODY IS MY FRIEND
I'M GOING TO ENJOY MY SUMMER"

Keep being fabulous.

Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Fashion, Uncategorized

Tags: beach wear, bebodypositive, best swimwear 2023, bikini, midlife body confidence, summer style, swimsuit, swimwear, swimwearmodel

June 28, 2023

Where do I go from here, where do I start?

A Blog by Zoe Davis

How do I retake control?

I’ve honestly no idea. Life has been like a constant rollercoaster ever since I can remember and the one thing I always assumed I could control was my own mind, body & soul. How wrong was I?

You see life has this way of testing you and it happens in the least expected places at the least expected times. It can knock you for six, throw you to your knees or it can fester deep within you until it rockets out of you in this huge explosion of emotions that you can no longer control.

Sweep it under the carpet

As a child growing up, I learnt the ultimate trick of the trade; how to sweep things under the carpet. I thought it was brillant. Don’t want to deal with it? Sweep it under the carpet. Can I pretend it never happened? Sweep it under that carpet. Can’t control that, sweep it under the carpet. Eventually I realised I didn’t have a big enough carpet. No amount of sweeping was going to get all of what happened to me under that little rug, because that’s in fact what it was, a rug. A rug I so swiftly pulled out from under myself when I decided to do that work on myself.

You see, when you start to work on yourself you start to pull those things out from under that carpet or rug in my case. You start to unpick all those long hidden things that you pretended weren’t happening, didn’t know how to control, didn’t want to deal with……every ounce of you comes falling out from that carpet till eventually it unravels. Sometimes unravelling at such a pace your feet don’t touch the ground and overwhelm and darkness is so great you wonder which part to look at next. Other times it takes a while and then you feel the pieces drop into place. A journey of healing and finally exploring who you are is a Never Ending Story, cliche I know but true.

You start to realise it is quite easy to lose control of many parts of you to fit into society, work, family, friends and social circles. It takes courage to step out and breathe. To admit and to feel the love of who you are.

Who is Zoe?

I am Zoe I am in my early 40’s and it is only now, with many other beautiful humans that I have started to really unpick my life and work on those secret sweeping activities that I had learnt to do from a young age. A glimpse of my life…

I grew up in what was referred to as a “broken” home. Parents separated & remarried. My shoulders carried the secrets and arguments of the past between generations. My childhood was not all smiles & laughter. I quickly understood how to be hyper vigilant in many situations, suppress my anxiety, show my anger in all the wrong ways, pretend things hadn’t happen, cover things up….I also understood that the one thing I could control was my body.

Bullying as a teen in school with severe acne, one of the first to start periods (horrendous ones at that) & braces, all this had pushed me to some dark places, I realised the one thing I could control was my body. I smoked to suppress the need to eat, I ate barely anything in the day and would only eat my evening meal at the family table to avoid anyone knowing. I would often pretend I had made a packed lunch for school taking nothing but a packet of crisps at a push. If I did eat it would be comfort style chocolate, crisps etc.

Burying my head in the sand

As I hit my 20’s I was told by a doctor if I wanted a baby I would need to pile on the weight as at 5ft 6 and 7 and half stone my body was struggling. I had to change, yet my partner at the time didn’t like it, what if I lost my pert boobs & arse. Not a look he was in favour of. I put some weight on and did become pregnant. Yet pregnancies for me weren’t great.

My first pregnancy saw me pile on the weight. I hid and swept all my feelings under that already stuffed rug. I struggled with my weight after and my health as a woman with my periods. 10 years later when I had my second baby I realised I had piled on more weight but couldn’t shift it and during my 2nd pregnancy I had busted my leg so mobility was limited. I used all these as excuses & buried my head in that ostrich hole in the ground called shame. I continued to sweep everything under the carpet including me problematic periods and post natal depression and my overwhelming past. It was a chance encounter with a therapist when my baby was 6 weeks old that ignited that moment when I knew but still fought it for a while, I need to start to unpick and unravel that rug…..that was 7 years ago.

Acceptance of me, just as I am

Since then I’ve learnt a lot about myself, my relationships, boundaries too. I’ve also discovered how to thank and accept my body for what it is, what it can do for me, how it looks & how it feels. My body no longer has pert boobs or rear end. I am no longer a size 8 in clothing more like a size 20/22 give or take. I have a man that appreciates me & my body too.

I am different because I can see how my body has changed & worked with me through teen life, two pregnancies, miscarriages, endometriosis, post natal depression, hysterectomy, car accident, stair accident and much more. I am 41 and now I appreciate my body and accept it more. I’m not going to say I love it entirely as we all have moments we wish things were better. Yet I will say I have a great deal of gratitude for my body, my mind & my soul. I feel more worthy to walk this earth than I have done for many years.

My rug, the new one is slowly being weaved. This however hides nothing under it.

This is now my magic rug that will take me where I want to be. Dream the biggest dreams & live life no longer in secret or darkness.

Dream the biggest dreams &

no longer live your life in secret or darkness

Zoe Davis

www.madcowlife.com

You can find Zoe on Instagram @madcowlife

Published by Rachel Peru in Inspiring Women

Tags: body confident, empowering women, inspiring women, Liberté, Liberte Free to be, Liberté Ltd, midlife, midlife blog, midlife body confidence, midlife stories, midlife women, personal journals, women supporting women, womens blog

May 31, 2023

Let’s Get Naked! #bodyconfidence

Let's get naked and learn to embrace our bodies. #bodyconfidence

For many of us, the idea of getting naked can be a bit daunting.

We have been conditioned by society to be ashamed of our bodies, to keep covered up and to feel like we are not good enough.

But what if we could shift our perspective and see getting naked as something that is positive and empowering?

Those that have followed me for a while will already know how passionate I am about women of all ages feeling comfortable in their own skin. I spent so many years worrying about my body which held me back and really knocked my self-esteem and body confidence. Since turning 40 I’ve been on a mission to change my mindset which has been liberating.

The Midlife Body Confidence Report

In 2022 I carried out a midlife body confidence survey where I asked 200 women how often they looked at themselves in the mirror naked?

10% Never - that makes me sad!

47% Occasionally - lots of room for improvement

24% Often - Great news

18% Everyday - YES!!

As part of my own body confidence journey, I have pushed myself to become comfortable with seeing my body naked without wanting to crawl under a cover and cry. What I’ve learnt to realise is all our bodies are so different, that none of us are perfect, and nobody really cares about the negative parts you get so focussed on.

Stepping out of your comfort zone

I’ve now done several nude shoots, the latest one with Helen Booth at Masque photography was one of the most authentic and raw shoots I’ve ever done. There’s nowhere to hide, but it's my body and that’s fine with me. Being interviewed naked for the Naked Podcast was one of the most honest and heartfelt interviews I’ve ever given. All these experiences have been empowering and liberating, there’s no need for any pretence anymore which is freeing.

'Let's Get Naked' shoot with Rachel Peru and Masque Photography

How I challenge my body confidence

I like to challenge myself every year and in 2022, I agreed to be a nude model for a life drawing class. I really had no idea what to expect. When I walked in and saw a room full of 34 people all poised ready to draw, part of me wanted to run out of the door, but I’m so glad I didn’t. The class was 2 hours long and I was asked to create lots of different poses with different angles. I soon became so fixed on making sure they saw interesting shapes that I completely forgot I was sitting there naked.

Walking around the room seeing all the different artwork and speaking with the artists was so refreshing. The class was of mixed ages and sexes, and all were there to get lost in their artwork for a couple of hours. I got so much positive feedback telling me how much they enjoyed drawing me. It was another reminder that our bodies are ok, flaws and all, and we must stop fearing our ageing bodies. I’d recommend life modelling if you’re curious about it and I’d certainly do it again.

Yorkshire Life Drawing

This year's challenge is to perform a live solo burlesque routine so “Lady Liberté” will be on stage at this years Womanifest on Saturday 15^th July, eek!!! Lots more to come on this subject soon. #watchthisspace

Whilst I appreciate the things I’ve done may seem too extreme for some, here are some things to consider if you are thinking about getting naked and embracing your body.

The Sexualisation of Women's Bodies

One of the main reasons why many women are afraid to get naked is because they worry about being sexualised. We live in a world where women's bodies are constantly being sexualised and objectified, so it is no wonder that we are afraid to show our own bodies. But we should not let the sexualisation of women's bodies keep us from embracing our own bodies. Every one of us is beautiful, no matter what our size or shape. We should feel confident and proud to show our bodies, regardless of whether someone else finds them attractive. Remember that as you head to the beach in your swimwear this Summer.

Lifting the Fear of Being Naked

Another reason why many of us are afraid to get naked is because we fear judgement. We worry that people will see our flaws and judge us for them. But the truth is that everyone has flaws, and no one is perfect. Why should we let the fear of being judged keep us from being comfortable in our own skin? If we can accept ourselves for who we are, flaws and all, we can start to feel more confident about getting naked. And when we feel more comfortable about getting naked, we can start to enjoy all the benefits that come along with it.

The Benefits of Getting Naked

There are many benefits to getting naked, including feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Feeling more connected to your body. Tapping into your natural sexiness and confidence, and appreciating your body for all it is worth, flaws included! Remember that you are beautiful just as you are!

It's also a great way to keep an eye on any changes happening with our bodies. Noticing any changes quickly can make a big difference to spotting any potential underlying medical issues.

Now, don't get me wrong—I'm not saying that we should all walk around naked all the time!

How can you challenge yourself?

How about seeing yourself naked when you’re getting dressed in the morning. Stop avoiding looking in the mirror. Learning to love and appreciate our bodies is an important step in learning to love and appreciate ourselves as whole human beings.

One of my favourite actresses is Emma Thomson and if you haven't seen Good Luck to You, Leo Grande then I recommend you do. There's a powerful scene which sees Emma strip off in front of the mirror and she described it as one of the hardest things she's had to do.

"If I stand in front of a mirror, I’m always sort of pulling something, or I’ll turn to the side, I’ll do something. I can’t just stand there. Why would I do that, it’s horrifying. “But that’s the problem, isn’t it, that women have been brainwashed all lives to hate our bodies. That’s just the fact. And everything that surrounds us reminds us how imperfect we are, and everything is wrong with us.” •

Whilst Emma still continues to have her own body insecurities she did report feeling more accepting of her body. I think that's a much more realistic goal.

“It’s easier for people to feel neutral about their body than it is for them to go, "I love my body." That, I think, is really helpful. And it’s something that you can sort of practise on your own."

So, if you're struggling with body image issues, try this little experiment: next time you're in front of a mirror in the morning take off your clothes and say these three things to yourself:

"I love you,"

"You are beautiful,"

"Thank you."

It sounds simple, but it just might change your life!

For more body confidence inspiration check out the rest of my body confidence blogs

Keep being fabulous

Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Body Confidence, Uncategorized

Tags: bebodypositive, bekindtoyourbody, body acceptance, body confidence, finding confidence, lifeafter40, midlife body confidence, naked, self love, womens bodies

November 6, 2022

Giving the “Perfect” Body the Finger

When you think of the ideal female body shape, what comes to mind?

Chances are the image that popped into your head was influenced by the fashion industry, media, and advertising. Throughout history, these industries have dictated what is considered fashionable and what is not. The result? A never-ending cycle of women dieting and going to extreme lengths to achieve an "unattainable" body type.

I’m a size 34G bust and as a teenager with a developing body I became hugely self-conscious of my growing breasts. By the time I was 16, I was a DD and with that came unwanted attention from boys, which left me feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed, and negative about my body. I desperately wanted to be able to wear a backless dress and remember feeling left out that I couldn’t. Aged 30, after having my three children I booked to have a breast reduction. I had seen the consultant, set the date for the operation and a couple of weeks before this was due, I changed my mind. Up until this point I had convinced myself that if I had smaller boobs my body would look better, and I would feel more confident. I don’t know what changed my mind but I’m very glad didn’t go through with it.

I spoke to a friend of mine recently who is much smaller chested, and she shared how that had also knocked her confidence over the years and often left her feeling less of a woman.

When it comes to the size of our boobs and body sizes, women have been pitted against for decades by the fashion industry, as they dictate what body shape is "in" and what's not.

It's time we reclaimed our bodies!

Let’s start with the super curves of the 1950’s when women strived to have an hourglass figure like Marilyn Monroe, then came a sudden shift in the 1960’s with Twiggy’s flatter chested much thinner look ruling the fashion industry. Only to be told that curvy bodies were back in favour influenced by the super models of the 80’s, followed by Kate Moss’s super slim, waif like physique shifting the ‘perfect’ body barometer once again.

Do you see a pattern emerging as each decade sees a sharp shift of body shapes developing?

Just when you might have thought we’d made real progress and started to see a diverse representation of women’s bodies shapes the worrying article “Bye bye booty; Heroin chic is back” emerged in the New York Times this week. There are so many reasons why this latest ‘trend’ is so alarming

Women’s bodies are not trends
Women who are naturally slim shouldn’t be labelled in such a derogatory way
The last time we saw this trend in the 90’s it coincided with an increase in eating disorders as young girls strived to ‘fit in’ to society

Women of all shapes and sizes are made to feel inadequate by these unrealistic standards. Well, I say screw that! It's time for us to turn our backs on society's idea of the "perfect" body and love ourselves for who we are. Here's why...

Women's Bodies Are Not Fashion Trends!

The first reason we should reject society's view of the "perfect" body is because women's bodies are not fashion trends. Fashion is about what you wear on the outside, but our bodies are so much more than that. Our bodies are the vessels that carry us each day.

They give us the ability to see, to hear, to feel. To think, to love, to laugh. Our bodies are amazing! And they deserve to be treated with respect and love, not judged against some arbitrary standard set by the fashion industry.

We Should Be Turning Our Backs on So-Called "Perfection"

Secondly, we should be turning our backs on so-called "perfection" because it's an unattainable goal. There is no such thing as a perfect body, no matter what society tells us. We are all uniquely beautiful creatures, each with our own individual quirks and imperfections. Embracing those imperfections is what makes us perfectly human. I don’t recall men being told what shape their bodies should be to be “in” either.

So, let's start loving ourselves for who we are, not who the fashion industry, media and advertising says we should be! Let's spread the word to protect the younger generation so they don't feel the need pressure to conform.

It's time for us to break free from society's unrealistic standards and learn to love ourselves for who we are!

Repeat after me-

Our bodies are not fashion trends, and "perfection" is an unattainable goal.

So, let's start celebrating our unique beauty today!

Published by Rachel Peru in Body Confidence, Uncategorized

Tags: body confidence, embaceyourbody, embraceyourbody, fashion industry, fashion trends, perfect body

October 20, 2022

A Good Night’s Sleep

One of the things I really struggled with during the peri-menopause and at the start of my menopause was a lack of sleep. I went from sleeping happily through the night to suddenly having insomnia, night sweats and an anxious mind. There’s nothing worse than starting the day feeling tired and cranky, and after a while it can really get you down. It’s no surprise to hear that 1 in 10 women leave the workplace due to menopause symptoms.

I’ve been working on my evening routine, making small lifestyle changes and finding what works for me.

Here’s some of the things I’ve found helpful.

I ditched caffeine and after the first month, I started to notice a difference. I wasn’t craving that sudden coffee rush first thing in the morning.
I’m still working on reducing the time I spend with my phone in the evening, easier said than done if I’m completely honest, but I don’t have it in the bedroom with me anymore.
One new habit I love is 10 minutes of relaxing yoga before I go to bed. It’s not only good for soothing any aches and pains, but I find it helps clear my mind and calms me.
I schedule in 30 minutes of exercise a day, to get some fresh air and be outdoors. If I have to miss one day, I notice a big difference in my mood and how I feel in the evening.
If I do wake up in the middle of the night, I’ve stopped stressing about it because that used to make me even more anxious. I used to lie awake staring at the ceiling which made me feel even more frustrated. Instead, I get out of bed, have a herbal tea, read a book and I drift off again.

All these lifestyle changes can make a difference, but you also need to get your foundations right. When was the last time you changed your mattress and pillows and really assessed the bed you’re sleeping on?

We moved houses last year, so it was a great opportunity to change our mattress. When it comes to finding a brand that provides the perfect comfort and support, I always choose TEMPUR® UK. Their mattresses respond to your body’s shape, weight and warmth, which has really helped my aching hips at night (that’s another thing they don’t tell you about menopause , new aches and pains!)

I suffer with neck pain and often wake up with cramps so I was keen to try the Ergonomic TEMPUR® pillow, recommended specifically to relieve neck pain, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised. The unique shape makes it so much easier to fall asleep in comfort and I’m sure my husband Mark is relieved I’m not as restless, tossing and turning, waking him up every night too.

( TEMPUR® are so confident about their pillows they allow you to take a 30-night home trial too).

There’s a reason why this brand is recognised by NASA and certified by the Space Foundation. It’s clever stuff!

I think the most important thing to remember when it comes to our sleeping pattern during this time is to be kind to ourselves. Find the things that work for you, take the time to rest when you need it and make good night’s sleep a priority.

‘Let her sleep for when she wakes she will shake the world”

#napoleon bonaparte

#sponsored attribute.

This post is in conjunction with TEMPUR® but all thoughts are my own.

Published by Rachel Peru in Blog, Hair and Beauty

Tags: mattresses, menopause, menopause symptoms, midlife women, pillows, sleep, sleep routine, tempur uk, wellbeing

September 1, 2022

Grey Hair Do Care!

Your body your rules.

That's what women keep being told, but we still have a long way to go before that really is the case.

To ditch the dye and embrace the grey, or not, has to be ???? a woman’s choice, without fear of judgment on both sides.

The fact that the award winning news anchor Lisa LaFlamme has recently been ousted from her job at Canadian CTV News shortly after ditching the dye appears to be no coincidence. There is obviously more to this situation but it does raise the on going question around sexism and ageism in the workplace.

With reports that a male senior executive questioned "who had approved the decision to let Lisa’s hair go grey?’”. Would this ever be asked about a ‘silver-fox’ man in the same position? LaFlamme is a successful, award winning anchorwoman with a 35 year career at CTV, why does the colour of her hair have any relevance?

Grey hair, do care!

I don’t care what women do with their hair, it’s not our job to have an opinion on anybody else’s appearance but I do care when women feel pressured into making choices about their own bodies based on ageist and sexist pressure in the workplace, by peers and society's outdated expectations.

We have to start questioning and challenging this outdated, damaging narrative and empower women who do want to let their hair go grey with confidence.

The grey hair movement is still pushing forward but at a very slow speed! That's why Annie Stirk and I started Silver & Sassy, because we know all too well from our own experience of going grey how other peoples' opinions can knock your confidence. You can find out more about Silver and Sassy in a previous blog post here

Why does grey hair cause so much discussion?

I'm still surprised how much controversy the grey hair debate can cause amongst a group of women, it's very divisive and it really doesn't have to be. I'm all for women doing what they want with their hair, if they want to keep dyeing it until they're in their 90's because it makes them feel good, then fantastic, do what's right for you.

The problem arises when a woman who would like to embrace their grey hair is talked out of it because of other peoples expectations. When I decided to stop colouring my hair at 46 , I put a post on Facebook and all the comments except one were negative, albeit tongue in cheek but there's always a true word spoken in jest! Comments like "Don't do it, you're too young"; "It will make you look older" or "You're too young to let yourself go" was the common theme of the conversation. Fast forward 6 years and now everyone loves my grey hair and I couldn't imagine it being any different colour.

I feel 100% like my authentic self and that's been liberating.

Old and Grey

How many times have you heard the words "old and grey" together, whether it's song lyrics or in conversation. We have a deep fear around ageing that is ingrained in our society, that grey hair is a visible sign of the ageing process that seems to scare people. We are judged by the colour of our hair and grey is still equated to being old and 'grannyish' which is probably why you'll hear that women are "brave' for ditching the dye so often, because we're going against the grain.

So, who created this narrative in the first place? The haircare industry is worth billions of pounds so it suits those brands to sell us those insecurities and promote hair dyes at every opportunity. If you look back to previous hair brand adverts it's easy to see how they've perpetuated this negative narrative.

Starting with a shocking 1920's advert saying" Decline to be grey as long as youth beats in your heart" along with Clairols 1980's Loving Care advert with the "I'm gonna wash that grey right outta my hair" ditty and you get the picture!

It's interesting to see Dove's response a week after LaFlamme's departure with their #backthegrey social media campaign. We need more brands like this to be committed to breaking down the stereotypical views of beauty to create real change in the industry.

Where are the grey-haired role models?

There are famous women in the film and media world, like Andie McDowell, Dame Judy Dench, Jamie Lee Curtis and of course the fabulous Dame Helen Mirren, who are starting to fly the flag which is great to see but if you look on mainstream TV for women in their 40's and 50's, you will be hard pressed to find any grey haired women cast as role models. I was pleasantly surprised to see Melinda Messenger share a post recently about her own decision to ditch the dye.

"It's taken me 51 years to see that I was always good enough, so I don't want to spend the next years of my life feeling I have to be anything other than just myself. I have finally given myself permission to just be"

I love this sentiment and can totally relate. With this in mind perhaps it really is time for women to take back control of our bodies. Let's make decisions about our own appearance; based on what makes US feel good and not to keep anyone else happy!

Whatever you decide to do with your hair...

Keep being fabulous!

Rachel x

For more grey hair inspiration visit the blog here

You can also listen to Liberte Free to Be Ep. 47 with Jayne Mayled, founder of White Hot Hair and champion of silver haired women.

Published by Rachel Peru in Hair and Beauty

Tags: ageism, beauty, ditchthedye, embracethegrey, empowering women, grey hair, greyhairdontcare, older women

March 22, 2022

How long does it take before you begin to feel like you belong in your own skin?

by Alison Bale

Once upon a time there lived a little girl who did not like being told what to do. And did not feel she fitted in.

To find where she does fit in has taken many years, four career changes, and one change of continent.

How long does it take before you begin to feel like you belong in your own skin? Mid fifties for me. But I get ahead of myself, so let’s fast backwards 25 years.

To a world I barely recognize as I write.

I used to be the woman on the 6am train, putting on her make up on her way to a consulting job in London. I started in publishing, morphed into communication consulting, and now had a job in the city, with a red sports car and a house in the home counties.

But I wasn’t happy. The crux was that the team I’d joined was based 30 minutes from my house. Then we were moved, and the commute became two hours each way. And I wasn’t enjoying the job. What to do?

I only appreciated with hindsight that moving me to London was the best thing the company could have done. It made me so uncomfortable, it forced me to consider what I did want, and make changes.

Specifically, it gave me the impetus to accept I might have to retrain, and I gave myself a deadline – decide what I wanted to do and get it done by the time I was 40. And as if by magic, I chanced across an article about chiropractic for horses.

When I applied, it was as though everything I’d done in my life, from aged 7 onwards (when I started horse riding), had been about being on the road to being here. The poet David Whyte writes that when we look back on our journey, it’s as though the only way we could have traveled was the way we had come. It certainly felt like that.

But retraining as an adult is a huge leap. I had to go freelance from my job – giving up the regular salary when I was the name on the mortgage and was about to get married (I don’t do things by halves). The funny thing is, I discovered that when you commit to a ‘leap of faith’, the universe moves to support you. I’d been asked to have lunch with a former colleague, who’d gone into PR. I still remember sitting opposite her as she said she had a magazine contract to fulfil and asked if I knew any good editors. ‘I’m going freelance tomorrow – will I do?’

Working for myself suited me and somehow the work kept flowing. And the changes in me had a ripple out effect for my husband, who decided he would train in therapy, too. And found a job he loved and has stuck with longer than any other job he’s had. Another lesson, the things you do can have beneficial consequences for others.

But I digress, four years study and I was a human chiropractor, so onwards to the animal course. Well yes, except I didn’t enjoy the animal work when I finally got to it. Strange that the thing that got me onto the path was not what I wanted when I got there. But that was OK, because I love the human work.

That should have been enough big change, eh? But no. Have you ever had a sense that you must do something, and that however risky, if you do not act, you’ll regret it the rest of your life?

In a nutshell, that’s how I came to move to India. I arrived intending to stay three years then go home. That was in 2006! The roller coaster of the last 15 years has seen lots of travel, and lots of work offering chiropractic care to a population with almost no access to it (eight chiropractors for a population of 1.4 billion.

It has been a much more challenging experience than I could have envisaged. India is a very different culture to the one I grew up in – much more chaotic – and I have changed as a result. I used to be an arch planner – less so now.

I’ve gone through peri-menopause and into menopause in India, and with it has come quite a radical change of thinking. For a while I fell out of love with chiropractic. Combination of joint pain, hot flashes, poor sleep, brain fog – none of which help you show up as your best for other people who are in pain.

But there was also a sense that I wanted to do more – specifically move away from a passive intervention towards one that gave people more control over their own minds and bodies. So, in my latest incarnation, I’m teaching mindfulness. And looking to return to the UK.

There’s a lot of talk today about ‘knowing your why’. Mine is ‘leave this world a better place than I found it’. Once you know your ‘why’, I think you can get through anything to deliver it. But I also think how you deliver it can change over time.

I’m ready for my next adventure, my next challenge. I love learning and growing, and am excited to see where the next version of me goes from her.

I’ll close by returning to the poet David Whyte, who says that

"The person who sets out on a journey, the person seeking, is not the person who arrives "

That’s very much true of me.

#midlifewomen #sharingstories #outofthebubble #lifeafter40 #inspiringwomen #personaljournals #stepoutofthebubble #midlifeblog

Published by Rachel Peru in Blog, Inspiring Women

Tags: alisonbale, empowering women, inspiring women, lifeafter40, midlifeblog, midlifewomen, outofthebubblewomen, personaljournals, sharingstories, stepoutofthebubble, wednesdaywisdom

January 7, 2022

Empowering Boudoir Photography

My top 5 reasons to say yes to a boudoir shoot.

I believe all women should have the opportunity to do an empowering boudoir shoot at least once in their life.

The term boudoir still appears attached to outdated ideas that women who choose this are merely doing it to please a man. When I first started my modelling career I never imagined I would be comfortable modelling lingerie . I certainly wouldn't have been comfortable expressing the more sensual side of my personality when I was younger. From my own experience I've found it totally empowering.

I had the pleasure of talking with Jane Earnshaw, the founder of Chique Studios, a photography and make over business, for the Liberte Free to Be podcast. Jane inspires women to become more confident in front of the camera and embrace their natural beauty.I spent the day with Jane to hopefully help bust some of those fears away and show you just how accessible it is for everyone and what an impact it can have on someones confidence.

Here's my top 5 reasons why I think you should YES to a boudoir shoot

When do you get to spend the whole day being pampered?

From the minute you walk in to a good photographers studio you will be well looked after and made to feel special. I would say do your research when it comes to booking , check out there website, look at their photo gallery. Personally I love working with female photographers as I think they can relate to a woman's vulnerability. Try and work with a photographer that has a diverse range of images and women on their books. You may walk in feeling nervous but by the time the hair and make up team have finished you'll feel like a million dollars. Allowing yourself to step into a different world is so much fun.

It will boost your confidence.

Lots of women struggle to feel happy in their bodies, insecurity stops them thinking they will look good in the photos. We all have parts of our bodies that we aren't happy with

In 2016, the Dove Global Beauty and Confidence report interviewed 10,500 women and girls across 13 different countries. The results were staggering and women in the UK had the lowest body confidence scores in the world. Only 20% of women and young girls saying they liked the way they looked.

We ALL have amazing parts of ourselves that will always shine through on camera. Being honest with your photographer about your worries, prior to the shoot, will help you relax. The photographer wants you to see just how naturally gorgeous you are and they will bring out the best in you.

It will help you connect with your sensuality, whatever that feels like to you.

Expressing your sensuality doesn't have to mean wearing lingerie and lace. You may feel more sensual wearing a trouser suit with a hint of cleavage showing. I actually think the term boudoir should be changed to empowerment. It's such an individual feeling.

We've all been conditioned to think that women after 40 need to hide our bodies away, that our bodies in midlife are perhaps something to be ashamed of. This can only leave women feeling invisible and lose confidence in themselves. I strongly believe we can and need to reclaim our ageing bodies back and learn to embrace them just as they are right now.

When I model lingerie and share my body confidence posts on social media 50% of the population maybe surprised to hear that I am not doing it to please their male gaze. The fact that a woman in lingerie may be viewed as sexy is merely a by-product and not the goal; I think it’s important for us all to remember that.

I do it to show other women that it is OK to celebrate and enjoy your body, no matter how old you are. It’s my choice to express myself this way and I am finally confident enough to own that. I hope you can too.

It will push you out of your comfort zone.

Yes stepping out of your comfort zone is a little scary but it's definitely where I've grown the most in the last ten years. I find it helps to build a new memory bank of life experiences that you can always call on if your having a bad self belief day. Having those beautiful images of yourself to go back to will give you that extra boost of confidence.

To celebrate just how fabulous you are

Doing a boudoir shoot can really be a way of showing your body some self love. A reminder just how amazing your body is showing up for you every day. Every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every scar tells a story of what makes you unique. Capturing that in a lingerie shoot is powerful and something to be celebrated.

(P.S If you're offered a glass of champagne on the shoot take it! You deserve it x)