January 20, 2021

Midlife Inspirathon- 12 hours of midlife positivity

Sending out a positive midlife message with 12 hours of live interviews, raising money for two women's charities.

Join me on Monday 8th February over on Instagram where I will be hosting a live Midlife Inspirathon of interviews. Twelve hours of sharing a diverse collection of women, all with inspiring stories to tell.

I have been busy preparing for the launch of the 2021 Liberte Free to Be podcast and I can't tell you how much I have appreciated all the women that I've interviewed over the last year. Like everyone else I have been missing that human connection and I gain my energy from being around people so zoom interviews have been a huge boost to my daily routine.

Why?

With this in mind I knew I wanted to give something back as I'm hugely grateful to the women that I get to talk with, who share their stories with such honesty. To all the women that listen and support the show. Women supporting women is at the heart of my Liberte Free to Be brand so what better way to show this than to organise a fundraiser, doing what I love and raising money to support two women's charities.

 

Midlife Inspirathon with Rachel Peru

 

Who?

We have seen a huge increase in women finding themselves out of work during this pandemic and Smart Works is a national charity which supports women from all backgrounds get back in to employment. Providing coaching to give them confidence and self belief to succeed in the workplace. As well providing high quality interview appropriate clothing which can be a real financial barrier for some women. I am raising money for the Smart Work Leeds branch.

Please visit their website to find out more-https://smartworks.org.uk/leeds-smart-works/

After interviewing the CEO Kate Blakemore on the podcast I was blown away by her and the whole teams dedication to helping women of all ages and backgrounds through a wide range of services. Offering a safe place , free from judgement to often vulnerable women. Supporting them to re-find their confidence, improve life skills and access the services they need.

Please visit their website to find out more-https://motherwellcheshirecio.com

You can listen to Kate's interview here.

Stepping out of my comfort zone!

To be honest I'm half excited and half daunted at the thought of being on Instagram live from 8.30am until 9.30pm and it's definitely taking me out of my comfort zone. I've committed to going on Instagram Live every morning just for 5 minutes so I can become more comfortable using it and get used to the set up so if you see my name pop up please come and say hello! As Liberte Free to Be is all about encouraging others to step out of their comfort zones I am determined to practice what I preach!

I don't know why the whole IG live thing feels uncomfortable , especially as I more than happy joining others and interviewing women from all walks of life that I've never met before. From listening to other women it seems we are good at hiding behind others and keeping ourselves out of the spotlight and I think I have been guilty of that with the podcast. It's much easier to shine the light on my guests each week than place myself their when the time is needed. Perhaps it's something we've been taught from an early age, not to be show too much confidence for fear of being called a show off or seen as seeking attention. I've come to the conclusion at 50 that if we don't blow our own trumpets no one is going to do it for us!

What are you working towards that takes you out of your comfort zone? I'd really love to know.

You can always email me at rachel@outofthebubblepodcast.com or leave a message on the Facebook page @stepoutofthebubble

 


Who will be joining me?

Luckily I have some amazing women joining on the day that will keep me company and my energy levels high. Here's a little taster of some of the guests who will be joining me-

Natalie Anderson- Actress, presenter, podcaster and founder of the lifestyle brand The Capsule.

Natasha Hamilton- Singer, podcaster and founder of Live Better with Natasha

Jo Gardiner- Contestant in Series 2 of Race Across the World

Misba Khan- Adventure walker and explorer who was part of the 2018 12 woman expedition to ski the last part of the North Pole http://www.euroarabianexpedition.com/

Stephanie Hirst-  Award winning and one of the UK'S biggest radio stars and BBC Radio Leeds presenter

Katy Hill- Well loved television presenter , Personal Development Coach, Speaker, Podcaster, Broadcaster and Writer.

and so many more surprises! #watchthisspace

How you can donate?

I have set up a Just giving page so if anyone feels they can donate, no matter how small, every penny matters to these charities right now.

(Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.)

I hope you can come and take a listen and watch the show, please drop by @rachelperu1 and say hello. You're support on the day will be hugely appreciated!

 

 

 

September 2, 2020

Liberte Free to Be with Susan Burrell.

I'm delighted to be joined by the inspiring American Author Susan Burrell. Susan is also a podcast host ‘Empowering Lives’, a presenter and guest speaker and is really helping people who are at a crossroads in life through her own intuitive healing.

After digging a bit deeper and reading more about Susan’s story, her journey really resonated with me and I'm sure lots of women will be able to gain some inspiration and relate to this one.

How do you describe yourself when you wear so many different hats?

I see myself as one of those carnival people of the last century with the poles and they're spinning plates and they're juggling. It's about creative freedom for me now in my later years. In my earlier years, I didn't think I was good enough or believe in myself. I was taught very carefully to not believe in myself in a very subterfuge clandestine way. As I got older, especially in the third chapter of my life, I really want to get out of that measurement of feeling less than and devalued and I did some very deep inner work.

Rachel I'm in the divine flow of life for the first time in my life and I had to work really hard to get into that flow of life. There’s days where I get sidetracked or I feel less than again, I mean, even though you do the work, it's an ongoing thing, right?

People think that once you get to this state of finding your way, of really finding the true self, that it's a done deal and you don't have to do any more work, but it's an ongoing journey.

Isn't it? Ongoing journey in this lifetime and probably many lifetimes, it's just an ongoing journey.

Life After Divorce

You’ve turned some really negative situations, emotions , feelings and gone through a similar experience to me with your divorce that really is life changing. How difficult did it get and how did you find your way out of it?

I've been on a spiritual quest since I was 17, 18 so I already had accumulated tons of skill sets. Working as a counsellor for 20 years with skill sets that I would use with my clients, I just used all of them on me.

I thought I had almost escaped the divorce debacle, you know, Oh, we've made 28 years and aren't we great. No!

All of a sudden, these women who had been divorced, came flooding into my life, you know, because if I'm not married, where's my tribe?

My girlfriends who were still married couldn't understand what I was going through.  I started hanging out with other divorced women and I noticed after a bottle and a half of wine later, they were still embittered after having been divorced 15 years ago. I'm like, I don't I want to be like that because I knew I had a second path in life.

I knew I wanted to live fully since it felt like my first half, I wasn't living my life as me. I was living my life in conjunction with someone, in partnership with someone. It was time to give Susan her turn and I think that happens a lot with women.

We give ourselves permission all of a sudden to really think about ourselves and what we want to achieve in life.

Divorce kind of kicks you out of the nest, right? It throws you out of that comfort zone, so for me I didn't realize it was happening until I actually chose to file.

What I mean by that is I kept trying to make it right and it wasn't ever going to be right. It probably wasn't right from the beginning of the marriage and I stayed 28 years, I was shattered. My understanding of who I was, was completely shattered, like shattered glass.

Different colours all over the floor. I felt like during the divorce, it was so contentious. I felt like I was crawling on my belly through that glass almost every day. After a while of feeling sorry for myself and running my story to friends and crying and sobbing and going through several box of Kleenex, I thought how do I want to come out of this?

I want to come out better than I've ever been in my life.

I am so surprised I'm saying this, Rachel, but the gift for me was to really dig deep into my spiritual practice again. Opening up that toolbox that I had and then applying it to myself. The gift really was the divorce because I came out loving and respecting myself more than I ever had. I came out respecting the work that I do, which I had always just kind of fluffed off. I gained the insight.

That’s the heart of what self-love is about, about accepting and loving yourself.

So many people don't know how to do that. We haven't been taught that at university or kindergarten, or we haven't necessarily even been taught that in our family of origin. I know I wasn't taught that. The good news is you get to make your life up however you want and if you want it to be a good, healthy, empowered, fun, creative life, you get to have that.

Facing Fear

How did you stop the fear from eating away at you and step into your new life?  I think so many women that I talk to have dreams and aspirations and they want to try and take those next steps forward but then the fear blocks and stops them from doing that.

That's a really good question. I think that was the gift of my divorce. I had been affirmed over and over that this is the work I'm supposed to do, not go be a sales clerk somewhere, or a waitress again. The fear showed up , Oh my gosh, where's my income, you know, but I began to learn that in order to come out whole loving myself more, I had to face the fear.

I attempt to do that now, when it comes up, I have to face it. Often times when you face that fear you can see that it's really just a small part of you that's trying to keep you safe. It's not a big bugaboo guy. It's a small little thing within you that's saying I'm scared. When you can recognize that, or when I do, then I can comfort it or say, well we're still going to do this anyway, but you're going to be okay. I do a lot of that kind of work in meditation or journaling.

I've just started doing that. I started writing a gratitude journal at the end of every day and I think it’s really made a difference. It has kept me grounded with in reality and given me a better understanding of what’s truly important to me in life.

A good journaling prompt you might ask yourself in the morning is what do I need to know today? I just do stream of consciousness writing. What do I need to know about my day to day and see what happens?

Live Your Empowered Life

You’ve now used all your experiences, your spiritual practice and your intuitive gift that brought you into the forefront to be able to help other people that are at the same crossroads in life. How has your work evolved into an inspiring book?

I had several clients and colleagues say, Oh, 'I can't wait to get your book. I'm going to read it'. I'm like, Oh, it's not a self-help read, you might get a gem but it's a let's go on this journey together and hunker down and do the inner work.

There's lots of affirmations in the book to work, I crafted it so you're going to begin on a gentle ride and then you're going to dive deep and then you're going to come up for air and then you're going to dive deep again.

Until you can get to a place where towards the end of the book, you get to rewrite your purpose in life and come out of the book with a real conscious purpose, which is a spiritual purpose.

I mostly work with women who have gone through divorce or are going through divorce and they really want to heal.

Most of my clients re reflect what I went through, they don't know themselves. I have a stellar client who said, I never knew that I had a choice about loving myself.

Feeling Lost in Midlife and Finding your Way Back

Why do you think we do lose ourselves in society? It does seem to be a common theme that women get to the forties and fifties and come to this point where they need to find themselves.

I'm praying and knowing that the current generation of women will not go through that, that they're going to know themselves sooner. I think what we're witnessing now in our generation is a closure of an old story, an old paradigm. The patriarchal that women should be seen and not heard, women stand behind their man, women stay at home, Or if you go out in the workplace, you come back and you do the laundry and cook the meals and clean up and put the kids to bed.

Inspiring women are the ones that are going to lead us into the light in and are the ones that are going to lead us into how the new way of living. I'm not saying men aren't going to be a part of it, but it's going to be awakened men, not men that continue to do the good old boy club thing, because it's dead and they're still beating it with a stick.

Women would hit midlife with society's description of how women are supposed to be in the world was complete. Get married. raise kids, maybe go to university, find a job, but now halfway through it's like, NO! and that's why women wake up and go holy moly, who am I? I'm tired of doing what everybody else tells me to do.

I had a yearning; I had a divine urge within me to be more than I was. I got battered mentally, emotionally, and energetically to wake up and stop with the old. I think a lot of women go through that.

That really resonates with me and that yearning for knowing that actually deep down inside you, there's something that was trying to get out, someone to be who you could be. It’s about finding your way through that.

Finding your way through is different for everyone, but I believe a consistent focus if you allow it. That focus is what we were talking about earlier, focusing on that divine urge, not what your head's telling you, but what your heart's telling you.

Allowing that to begin to inform you your wisdom within, because all the answers we are asking for reside right within us.

If you align with your higher self, if you align with the infinite then all your answers are right inside you. That's why journaling and meditating, silent meditation is so important because that's how you can hear.

Finding Inner Peace Through Meditation

Let’s talk about meditation. I know how good it could be for me, but I do struggle to switch my brain off. What tips can you recommend helping beginners learn to let go and meditate.

Meditation insight is a great ap. If you've never meditated, you can set it for five minutes. You don't have to worry about what else is happening and build up the amount of time you feel comfortable. What I encourage people is to start a meditation practice and start a journaling practice.

The journaling practice can happen right after your meditation, because then you're more open and you can write down insights. But what you also said, Rachel, starting a gratitude journal. That works a lot for people, especially if you're feeling a little down and out. Writing down the things you're grateful for is a very simple process to move you from despair or fear into love and light.

I have a guided meditation that I'd love to give them. It's called out of the box thinking and they can download it @susanburrell.com/free-gift-meditation

Self Love

My last question is if you could give yourself a compliment, what would it be? Women are notoriously bad at accepting compliments we always try to pass it off and push it aside or make a joke of it.

Wow, that's going to make me cry. I think I would. I, Oh, I can't even get the words out.

I would tell myself that I'm very proud of who I am now proud of the courage and the strength that I am and proud of the love and the value I bring. I'm very proud.

I'm sure you will agree Susan Burrell has really been inspiring and giving us all a lot to think about.

If you'd like to find out more, please go visit www.susanburrell.com.

You can listen to full audio interview here

#podcast #outofthebubble #inspiringwomen #divorce #sharingstories #conversations #confidence

 

June 12, 2020

Liberte Free to Be with Melissa Tolago, founder of the Walking group Glamoraks

As many of us have turned to daily walks during lockdown I thought you might like to hear how previous Liberte Free to Be guest Melissa Tolago found her new passion and purpose through walking.

Where did your love for walking begin, how long have you been walking as a sport/hobby before starting Glamoraks?

Not that long, I used to walk but when my kids were little it was more of a lesson of how many Haribo’s could i give out at any point to try and encourage them to walk! So I had a weekend free, I think it was about 2015, and my kids and husband were away. I thought you know what instead of going to a spa I’m going to go to a hiking shop, buy some boots, a backpack, waterproof jacket and I’m going to walk a stretch of the North Yorkshire coast. I was very excited about my plan and the forecast was for horizontal wind and rain with amber warnings, but I thought well I don't care I’m going to do it anyway. So I did, I had this clifftop path to myself, not another soul, no one else was stupid enough to go out in the weather! I stayed in a hostel overnight, in a shared room, which I hadn't done for years and years, then the next day I walked back again. I just absolutely loved it, it made me feel completely alive, I just thought this is incredible, I want to do more of it! So I started to do more walking with my friends, and it just became slightly more of a regular occurrence.

Having that sense of freedom must of been liberating, especially whilst having young children?

Yeah, so they were sort of ‘tweens’ at this stage and just at that point where they really weren't too fussed about doing anything with me, at all! So I’d done a lot of dragging them out to historic homes, that kind of thing and they were kind of over it. I thought well I can go and do something for me now, and I did; it was just such a brilliant, liberating experience that I just wanted to do it more and more. I didn't have any designs to become a keen, ardent hiker or take on incredible challenges, I just wanted to get out walking more.

How did you fit that in because you’re a busy lady, you're running your own PR business, mum of two children, how did you start fitting in longer walks at weekends?

I just put it in the diary, so I’d say to my husband, ‘right I’m going to go away this weekend, can you be here for the kids’. He worked away from home a lot so he was quite happy to come back and just stay at home, while I was desperate, because I work at home, to get out of the house. So I went off, I would just put it into the calendar. It was easier because I work for myself, I had the flexibility.

What tips could you give to other women to learn to take the time out?

If you can get someone to go with you it’s far more difficult to pull out then. I love walking on my own, there’s a real sense of liberation and it's slightly more adventurous when you go off on your own. I know a lot of women don't actually like walking on their own, they find it either scary or lonely, and I don't find it either of those things. But, when you have someone else to walk with, it gives you company it makes it slightly more fun. It also makes you stick to your plan, you can’t suddenly go ‘oh I don’t want to go anymore’ because you’ll be letting that person down. So if you can find someone to go with, all the better.

So you started walking with friends, and then from what I’ve read you didn't just do short walks, you gradually built up to some really quite epic walks across the UK, so what was the first long distance that you did?

The first one I did was the coast to coast, and that is 192 miles, and I got the idea for that after reading a book called ‘Wild’ by Cheryl Strayed. It was a story about a woman who had a fairly rubbish life and decided she was going to walk the Pacific Crest trail, which is a really really long way in America, all on her own, and it just to me sounded like the most amazing adventure.

So I bought the Coast to Coast book, took a photograph of the book, put it on Facebook saying ‘does anyone want to do this with me’, and my cousin who lived in South Africa said ‘I’ll come’. So she flew over, and we decided to walk it together! We had no idea what we were doing but it was brilliant.

A lot of people would say ‘ok we’ve achieved that, that’s fantastic’ and kind of leave it at that, you went on to then climbing Kilimanjaro which is on my bucket list of things to do, What was the of inspiration to do that, had you always wanted to do it?

No, it hadn't even been on my radar! So my friend fell of her horse a few years ago, she broke her neck, and she survived. But she was rescued by an air ambulance, and her local air ambulance was doing this climb Kilimanjaro fundraiser so she wanted to do something to give back.

Another friend of ours was turning 50 and she wanted to do something to celebrate her 50th so they said do you want to come with me and I couldn't think of a good reason why not! I just said sure, and just did it!

It was a challenge to get the training done because I live in York and the surrounding area is flat and I needed hills. I looked like a complete idiot, I used to go to Sutton Bank the one and only hill near me and I used to hike with a full pack on my back, I used to have a mask that I put over my face that restricts your oxygen flow so that you can get used to walking in high altitude. People would be out for their day stroll and there was me puffing my way through this oxygen mask! But it was the most incredible experience. I loved every minute of Kilimanjaro except for probably the last half an hour on summit day which was supremely challenging, but really worth it.

What did you learn about yourself doing that, I would imagine there is lots of soul searching during such a big challenge?

I learnt that if you keep a positive mental attitude, you can do anything. The minute you start doubting yourself, you will fail, and it is as simple as that. I’ve been riddled with lack of self-belief and low self-esteem for probably most of my life, but I decided on this that I was going to do it, I was going to get to the top, and there not for one second going to be a thing where I thought I can’t do this.

We were in a big group of 25, and quite early on there were people who started moaning, ‘ah I’m tired’, ‘I feel sick’, ‘I’m really feeling the altitude’, and they funnily enough didn't make it. Every time I felt the symptoms of altitude sickness and sort of breathlessness or anything like that, I just told myself this is your body’s natural response to it, it’s normal, you just keep on going and you’ll get there, you'll be fine. It made the world of difference! I didn’t have really any severe symptoms, I got there, it was absolutely brutal and exhausting but I did it. I think that's what I learnt, that if you focus on the positive you can do it.

Do you think that experience has changed your whole outlook and your self confidence?

I think it has, and it wasn't that I set out with that intention, I just came back thinking ‘of course I can do that’, and you know people saying ‘oh my goodness you climbed Kilimanjaro’ but really it wasn't that big a deal. It was hard, but it felt like yeah something that you can go and do.

I think my whole thing with setting up Glamoraks was to try and help other women realise that just because you’ve been doing whatever it is you’ve been doing, for however many years, whether it’s a career, or being as stay-at-home mum or raising kids, or looking after elderly parents, or whatever it is, you get stuck into a rut and you get shoe-horned into this way of thinking that you can’t challenge yourself. For some people going for a walk is the challenge, for others going for a walk with someone they don't know is the challenge, for someone else it’s going for a multi-day walk is the challenge, for someone else it’s wild camping. It doesn’t matter what the thing is, if it’s pushing you out of your comfort zone then its a challenge and all I would say is start small and keep on going.

I can completely relate to that because the women I’ve been talking to on the podcast have all said the same thing. It’s taking that one step to do something small and then you just build on it don't you, which is what you’ve obviously done through your walking, you’ve been building slowly the momentum of everything you’ve been doing to this point of then getting the idea of Glamoraks.

Yes exactly. Glamoraks happened by accident, it wasn’t something that I’d planned. I sound like a complete crazy woman that just lets life happened to her! But I didn’t plan it, because my background was in public relations, I saw a press opportunity that said ‘I’d like to talk to women about walking’. So I put myself forward saying ‘yeah I walk regularly’, and they wanted to interview me, they were going to do a big double page spread on me about all the walking that I did.

With my PR hat on I thought I can’t waste this PR opportunity, it’s ridiculous, its just mad. I had been thinking for a while that it would be great to have some kind of community that got more women out walking, because the Glamoraks, the original Glamoraks, were my friends, the mums at the school gate, and the reason the name is Glamoraks is because they're not your typical hikers. They were quite glamorous women, business women, we go out for cocktails and I see them all dressed up. I got them into hiking gear and I just gave them a nickname, I said you're wearing anoraks but you're really Glamoraks.

I thought well if l’m getting these women out, and we’re all having a great time, what if i just extended it and said who else wants to go out walking? That’s when I set it up, purely off the back of having a press opportunity. I had no plan for it, nothing really, it just sort of happened.

Have you been surprised by the positive response you've had to it?

Yes it's been quite overwhelming. I started in 2017, it started as a Facebook group originally and I encouraged people to share pictures of where they went walking and if they wanted to find people to go walking with. I found that people were having a hard time finding other people near them because Facebook didn't allow them to search. So I did some research and I thought well I’ll create an app, but it was going to cost me £60,000, and I was like funnily enough I don't have £60,000! So I found a company that you can use that enables communities to find other people near them, I moved people off the Facebook group onto to this new platform. You can use the Glamoraks app, search for members near by and it’ll show you who’s near you so you can connect with people with similar interests.

If you're a beginner walker you can find other beginner walkers near you, or if your a complete adventure seeker you can find people like that. The whole aim of it is purely to encourage people to set up their own walks, it’s not like a ‘on this day we’re going to be having a walk from this location’, it’s more ‘hey guys I’m going to go walking in the North Yorkshire moors this weekend, is anyone free to join me?’

What has been incredible is the number of people who join and they all say the same thing, they say ‘I want to go walking but I haven't got anyone to go with’, or ‘none of my other friends are interested’, or ‘my husband doesn't want to’, or ‘I’ve moved to a new area and I don't know anyone and I just feel as though I want to try something new’, or ‘I want to get fit’. It’s the same kind of messages that come up time and time again, and it’s just fantastic for me to see that it is around the world. It started in the UK, that’s obviously where it is largely based because I’m based here, but there are people in America , New Zealand, Hong Kong, South Africa and all over, and I would love to get those communities growing.

What’s the average age of the women?

I would say mid 40’s is the average age, but there is no age limit anyone can join. There are other groups that are aimed at younger, sort of 20 and 30 somethings that are slightly freer, ‘The Ramblers is an organisation , I know that they're changing, but they typically have an older demographic, whereas this is just the bit in the middle.

Which is actually the age group that I think often gets left behind, that kind of middle age group, so it’s refreshing to have this kind of group together working, I think it’s fantastic. Quite a lot of women I think would relate to this more because people are scared of starting a new exercise like going to a gym or throwing themselves into a swimming pool, whereas walking is a bit more relatable isn’t it, it’s an easier thing to start. What kind of equipment do you recommend people, if they want to go out walking tomorrow, what are the basics that they need?

If they’re going to be walking in an urban environment, or just in their local park or something like that, honestly just a pair of trainers and warm layers basically, and a waterproof jacket is probably all you’ll need.

If you’re going to go and do more of the beaten track type of walks, any of the national trails or country footpaths things like that, you’re probably going to need a good pair of boots. You can start with something reasonably affordable if you just want to give it try and you’re not sure if you're going to commit to it. It’s funny, people think that walking is a very cheap, free kind of exercise, and it is, but once you start looking at the gear you can get quite carried away. But honestly a pair of boots, ideally waterproof, because in this country it’s wet and muddy. If you want some basics, I mean a pair of either leggings, like warmer leggings for winter, or some walking trousers. You can get waterproof outers if you're likely to go out in the rain, if you're going to be a fair weather walker then its not necessary.

A little backpack, again doesn’t have to be big or expensive, but just something you can just carry your lunch in and a nice wooly hat. Ideally if you’re going to go out somewhere, that you haven't been before and it’s not an obvious way marked path, then you should take an ordnance survey map with you, or go with someone who knows where they're going.

See that’s the thing that puts me off, because I love walking, I’ve got a dog I walk everyday. But on longer walks, my sense of navigation is absolutely useless! Am i right in thinking that at Glamoraks also hold events where people can go and learn a bit more about that?

Yes, I team up with a bunch of different walking groups and companies and one of them is a chap in the Yorkshire Dales and he runs navigation courses. I did his straight to silver course, where they teach you first of all how to read a map, and how to get more advanced and actually read the land so you can look for valleys and dips and things and figure out where you are. I’m still no expert but it does give you a little sense of confidence.

But I don't want people to get put off, and think well I cant read a map so I’m not gonna go walking. Honestly, there are so many walks that you can do that you can just Google and download. The other thing you can invest in for anyone who wants to go walking more is, ordinance survey have got an amazing app and you can just put it on your phone, plot your route before you go, and as you're walking it'll tell you if you're going off track.

Wow that’s clever, I like the sound of that, I could manage that I think! Where does your drive come from, because you’re already running a successful business and a family home, and now you've got Glamoraks to contend with. Where does your inner drive come from because it’s a lot of work isn't it?

I think I’m just one of those people who doesn't like to sit still, I mean right now actually I'm in the process of separating from my husband, I’m selling my house, buying my new house. I have got a job and I’m moving back into full time employment, so I’m giving up my normal marketing business but I’m keeping Glamoraks going, so it is a juggling act you know, I’m doing all of it at the same time.

We’re coming towards the end of the year now and if I look back over the course of the year, if I look through my photo scroll, I wanna have a look and see lots of things that I've done, places that I’ve visited, and places that I’ve walked. If I look back at my year and I haven't done anything I feel like it's a waste. I suppose the drive comes from wanting to make sure that every year I'm making the most of it and packing it full of things that will make a really good story at the end of the day, rather than another day in front of Netflix.

What would you go back and tell your younger self?

I would say dump that idiot boyfriend when you were in your early 20’s, and go on a massive gap year and do a lot more of this adventuring because you're so much more capable than you think you are. Honestly, it’s taken me years and years and years to realise that I can go and do this.

I mean, it first started when I was 36 and my son’s were 3 and 5 and I decided on the spur of the moment that I’d had enough of doing the laundry and I signed up to do the clip around the world yacht race and I sailed from Hull to Rio, for 6 weeks, 18 strangers on a boat and I think that was the thing that gave me my kickstart, I thought I can do this, I can do what I want.

You don't know what will come from everything that you do, you don't know what it leads to. By trying something different, you might find that you get talking to somebody on a walk that wants to go off and do a slightly different adventure or a wild camp out and then you find yourself with a different group of women. I can imagine it opens up a whole free world really for women.

It does, but also more than anything it puts your life in perspective. I have never been on a walk with Glamoraks where I haven't been absolutely kind of jaw on the floor astounded at some of the life stories that I hear, you know the things that they're going through, the challenges they've faced, what they're doing, how they're feeling.

It just sort of puts your own life into perspective, and you go ‘oh gosh I’ve actually got it really easy compared to what a lot of people have’, and it’s so humbling to hear their stories and so interesting to hear their stories, I leave with a sense of being connected like we’re all in this together.

That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to set the podcast up, women supporting each other and hearing from lots of different women doing different achievements, it’s inspiring and it really helps motivate me. What advice could you offer to women who might have an idea in their head but might be lacking in confidence to take that first step to get it going, in business or a plan in life?

Just do it. Honestly, say yes and figure out the details later, that’s the only thing I can say. You don't have to know how to do everything, I didn’t know how to sail across an ocean and I didn’t know how to climb a mountain and I didn’t know how to set up a business and I didn’t know how to set up a global community for women who walk. I still don't even know how to read a map properly, but it doesn't matter. It’s just about the start, and you can figure it out, and be honest with whoever you're doing it with, that you don't know everything but you're there to try and learn and people can’t argue with that really.

Last three questions, what song or piece of music motivates you?

Well, it’s probably not an uplifting piece of music, but the piece of music that really makes me feel like heart bursting is Elgar’s ‘Nimrod’, classical piece of music and I’ve always loved it. When I was climbing Kilimanjaro, I was walking along on my own and battling with lack of oxygen and I looked up and as I looked up the clouds cleared and the peak moved into view and at the same time that song came onto my headphones and it was just the most awe-inspiring incredible moment.

I thought wow I’m actually here, I’m actually doing this, and the music is just so soaring that it lifts me up. So now whenever I’m in a beautiful place and I need a pick me up that’s my go to piece.

What about a book that inspires you? I know you’ve mentioned ‘Wild’, is that one of them?

That was definitely the book that got me started, that got me into the walking bug and tapped into my sense of adventure, so I would definitely have that one on my list. There’s another one right now called ‘Roar’ by Cecilia Ahern, and it’s a collection of 50 short stories about women and finding their inner strength, and that’s a really good book as well.

Who inspires you?

There’s no one person I don’t think but anyone who’s prepared to just try things. Some of the mums who were at my kids school, who were in their 40’s and 50’s, rowed across the Atlantic 2 years ago, and they didn’t know what they were doing and they had every reason to say no, but they said yes and did it anyway. So I think anybody who is prepared to just say yes ok i'll give that a try and it doesn't have to be rowing the Atlantic or climbing Everest it can just be something that is a challenge for them and their prepared to give it a go. I think that's inspiring.

You can listen to the full podcast interview which took place in 2018 here -

Visit www.glamoraks.com for more information and you can find Melissa on Instagram @glamoraks and Twitter @melissatolago

Keep being fabulous x

March 29, 2020

Top 10 Podcasts by Inspiring Women

How’s everyone coping with being at home? I’m trying to keep busy and plan each day with some structure to help keep me motivated. I’m a huge fan of listening to podcasts and now is the perfect time to catch up on some of those missed episodes. There are so many podcasts out there now and I’m glad to see so many female content creators.

I can guarantee there will be a podcast covering almost every subject you can think of, from finances, death and divorce to love and fashion, detective and thriller stories to gardening and cooking. I think there’s something special when women come together and have a good chat; quite often, listening to another womens’ story or experience can make such a difference to your day and leave you feeling inspired.

Here are some of my favourite podcasts to keep you going and hopefully help fill the odd hour or two each day.

Get ready to start downloading now!

How to Fail

Elizabeth Day switches things up a bit by celebrating the things that haven’t gone right. Weekly podcast where guests explore how their failures taught them how to succeed better. Famous guests share their failures candidly and you will be surprised to see how many of them you can relate to.

Conversations of Inspiration

I’ve only recently discovered this podcast with Notonthehighstreet and Holly & Co founder Holly Tucker, I have binge listened so many episodes. Holly really is a woman to be admired after spending the last 15 years building small businesses and helping empower so many others across the UK.

Conversations of Inspiration sees Holly invite founders of small businesses to share the highs and lows they’ve encountered whilst building their business.

Hashtag Authentic

Sara Tasker’s podcast was the very first one I listened to and I’ve been hooked ever since. If you are a creative person this is the podcast for you. Hashtag Authentic is a weekly podcast exploring the secrets to online success for dreamers, makers and creatives. With practical tips and inspiring stories that will leave any small businesses, bloggers and online creatives feeling inspired.

The Capsule

Keeping it local with the lovely Leeds based actress and presenter Natalie Anderson who has built a successful lifestyle brand called The Capsule and has now launched her own podcast to talk all things Fashion, Beauty, Business and Wellbeing.

Natalie is joined weekly by The Capsule editorial team Fashion Editor Anna Mewes and Travel Industry Expert Lyndsey Thomas. Series one has just finished, and I thoroughly enjoyed listened to the variety of guests.

Happy Place

I’ve always been a fan of Fearne Cotton and I’ve loved watching her career change direction.

Fearne is not one to shy away from any subject as her guests talk honestly about their lives, love, loss, and everything in-between as she reveals what happiness means to them.

In The Dark

If you love serial investigative journalism, then this American APM podcast hosted by Madeleine Brown and a team of reporters will get you hooked.

Investigating murders, kidnapping, following trial and re-examining evidence is fascinating.

I’m Absolutely Fine

If you’re not familiar with these two ladies who formed The Midult then I definitely recommend you look them up. Annabel Rivkin and Emilie McMeekan founded The Midult back in 2016 and provided a refreshing change to what’s been put out there for grown up women and really celebrate the power and potential of women. The podcast looks into the glamour along with the indignity of being a grown up.

The Naked Podcast

I recently had the pleasure of joining BBC Radio Sheffield hosts Jenny Eells and Kat Harbourne for their latest Naked Podcast series and it’s a brilliant idea. Hosts and guests strip off and enjoy honest and topical conversation; it’s surprising how liberating it feels!

Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations

Oprah’s podcast is a firm favourite of mine. Full of insight, food for thought, clarity and inspiration. At a time like our current one I think this is the perfect podcast to help you keep grounded, sane and calmer.

Out Of The Bubble

I hope I can be forgiven for including my own podcast in this list as it’s something I’m very proud of and am enjoying the opportunity to share some amazing women’s stories. Women who have re-invented themselves in later life, overcome hurdles, changed directions share their journey and leave you with inspiration and motivation.

Start downloading now!

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

March 8, 2020

International Women’s Day 2020

International Women's Day* is celebrated on the 8th of March every year. It is a focal point in the movement for women's rights and is celebrated in many countries around the world. It is a day when women are recognised for their achievements without regard to divisions, whether national, ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political.

This years' theme for International Women's Day is #EachforEqual and I was delighted to be involved in the Chantelle campaign as part of their celebrations.

"An equal world is an enabled world.

Individually, we're all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day.

We can actively choose to challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve situations and celebrate women's achievements.

Collectively, each one of us can help create a gender equal world.

Let's all be #EachforEqual" #IWD

I loved reading all the positive messages of support to other women shared on social media yesterday and although it seems a shame we have to dedicate a special day to do this, it's a great reminder to us all. I'm often saddened when I read or hear women judging other women and not showing support. I think we all have to be more conscious of the fact that it's ok to be different; to have our own opinions. But in world where women are striving to be seen and heard with equality, the least we can do is be supportive of each other. That's what made this Chantelle shoot so special, the mix of women they chose was amazing. We are all so different and some I'd never met before but we bonded quickly, and by sharing our own stories, this helped create the most beautiful and natural images. These are the kind of images that I want to see out there in fashion marketing and media. All ages, sizes, backgrounds and colours together.

"Chantelle has always been all about empowering women with different body shapes, making them feel positive in their body and mind. More recently, our goal has been to redefine the way lingerie is portrayed, reflect better the world we live in, and drive the lingerie industry into a new area of creativity, avoiding stereotypes and bringing meaning to it all."

IWD remind us all that: "We are all parts of a whole. Our individual actions, conversations, behaviors and mindsets can have an impact on our larger society.

Collectively, we can make change happen. Collectively, we can each help to create a gender equal world." I'm a huge believer in women helping each other and when we work together we become so much stronger, it's one of the reasons I seek out female collaborations so much.

Modelling lingerie is now one of my favourite jobs, it's when I seem to be at my most comfortable for some strange reason. If I'd have been told I would be having days like this, modelling lingerie with a group of women I've never met before, I would have run a mile. That's the beauty of being comfortable in my own skin as I approach fifty.

It's also the beauty of spending the day with four amazing and supportive women, all with very different backgrounds and stories to tell, all equal in value.

(It helped that we spent the day in the Chantelle #softstretch range which is literally so comfortable you forget you're wearing it!).

Midlife women have been dismissed by the media and fashion industry for too long, particularly when it comes to lingerie and swimwear campaigns. I feel like I've found my voice and I want to make sure I'm heard. One of the joys of hosting my own podcast

Liberte Free to Be is being able to share other women's stories and hopefully inspire others. My IWD2020 pledge is to continue using my platform to champion other womens' achievements and help share their story. What's your pledge?

"The five influencers in the campaign are all from backgrounds that empower women, they talk about and promote body positivity, femininity, inclusivity and everyday life as a woman. They all support women's rights in one way or another. They are all real women and all have incredible stories to tell."

Please give these fabulous ladies a follow over on Instagram because they are such an inspiration Kaz Foncette, Emma Smyth, Rachael Sealy and Grace Latter.

Keep being fabulous!
Rachel x

February 23, 2020

How an image coach can renew your confidence.

Listen to your inner voice and don't be afraid to question her" by Sara Marsden-Shreeve

This weeks Monday motivation comes from award winning colour, style and confidence consultant Sara Marden-Shreeve at The Image Tree. Sara is not your average image consultant, using her degree in psychology and coaching qualifications , Sara helps women build their confidence from the inside and out. I love her motto "Rock what you've already got" and this weeks post is a reminder to us all to be kinder to ourselves and to listen to that inner voice too!

"There I am aged 12, stood in the gym at our schools’ annual Christmas country dancing seasonal treat in darkest deepest Winter...yes you heard right bizarre eh? When I think about it now, I still feel a little gip in my stomach.

It was the usual scenario of girls one side and boys the other in which the popular "lotharios" got to strut their confidence and choose their bottle green clad damsel in a pencil skirt. How romantic?

I was usually one of the stragglers at the end, awkwardly looking at her scuffed shoes whilst the remaining boys chose with equal embarrassment and shame. You know... the usual demeaning stuff on the mean road to adulthood.

Everyone got to dance with everyone else as you’re passed from pillar to post and got to swing around and do the ‘dosey- doh’ and so on.. it beat sitting in lessons on a Friday afternoon I guess!

Well, towards the end of the afternoon I moved up the rows and eventually got to partner with one of THE top lads in the year, Mr Popularity himself. I literally gulped in my very soul. At this point, he quite loudly scoffed to his surrounding mates and groupies on my approach, whilst the teacher was pratting around with the stereo system, that it would be best that he not get too close ( to me) in case he caught and I quote “ugly disease”.

I remember feeling an inner burn; something had fizzled inside me.. the remnants of my self-confidence died and as you well know, there isn’t much to go around anyway in teenage-dom.

The rest of the remaining hour felt like an eternity and I wanted to go home and shrivel up into a ball of nothingness and as fast as possible. Fingers were being pointed and whispers were rife in that gym hall that day.

Needless to say, after that I felt the same sad void for some good ooh 18 years and the 'uglyness' tag continued to hang, plus, what with the acne, the scarcity of boyfriends and the body changes it was all an even slower burn. I think it would be fair to say that I “fell out with myself”, didn’t like me as it were, felt pretty well “flawed” somehow. One stupid comment from one moron took my spark! My arch nemesis ‘the negative belief’ was born. Boom!

As with most of us, life deals you a few shitty hands that seem to scar, but yet we are also delivered great stuff with the other but, we just don’t seem to relish them as much, you know like your first love, trying new things and feeling accomplished at something. Instead, we hang onto the negative, the poisonous things that bury themselves into our very core and stop us becoming truly happy or doing/being…you know ‘that thing’ we’re supposed to do or be. We all have it we just sometimes choose to ignore it because of fear of failure and getting sucked into believing it's all true and we can't or we're not worth it.

So you know what, out of nowhere, at the age of 35, I decided one morning that I was not going to return to Civil Engineering (my current job at the time, which I loved actually) and I was going to do something about me for me, but what?! Whether an angel had whispered these thoughts in my sleep or the universe had taken me by the hand in my dreams the night before, I do not know, but I was about to experience a shift!

I was still on maternity leave with my second child at this time and I felt I was drowning in nappies, housework and monotony. A time that I now see gave me unconditional love partnered with true reflection and the time to see what life can actually bring... family. To be honest, our journey to having a family was straught with miscarriage and loss so you can see how making the decision to do something in life was so inherent. No more victim, I needed to start listening to those crappy inside voices and tell them to shut the hell up and sit down, I'd brought lives into the world for god sake.

So to cut a long story short I realised that my future had always been there, sitting right under my nose, but had not really seen it or even looked for it.

I loved colour, loved fashion, loved people and how they ticked (I have a BA Hons in Applied Social Science) so I was going to learn how to build confidence through learning how to like me and my body again and give it the blummin respect it so deserved! Well-fitting clothes, my own style, flattering colours and love for just being me were my agenda. That way I could pass it on to others whom I know shared the same feelings about themselves and they too would be able to do something about it. Plant those positive seeds as it were...

I qualified via First Impressions in Warwick, first just as a Colour Consultant and then later on as a fully- fledged Image Consultant, I then went onto set up The Image Tree back in 2013. I built my own website, went on fab courses and learned to Blog, use Social Media and get myself out there and join networking groups full of inspiring women.

Through listening, acting on and meeting fabulous people and clients, I now sit on the Style Guru team at Henpicked, frequently speak on BBC radio , work with many local businesses/ larger corporates, collaborate with confidence building brands, present at seminars and even won some awards. Heck I'm even one part of a trio of women entrepreneurs who set up a local networking group with a twist WiRE (Women in Rural Enterprise) to help support and teach other women in business.

A few years ago I also added NLP to my skillset so that I can provide a Coaching string to aid Positive Mind-set further and provide the whole top to toe, inside and out services to any woman who wants to start their Style and Confidence journey. I'm also a massive lover and user of Positive Psychology and have truly niched myself by supplying an holistic approach to Image, because of it's proven powerful effects on myself and other women. Most of my closest colleagues are all practitioners and specialists within the Health, Wellness and Self Care Industry so we all bounce and support off each other. Cool eh?

So if you thought the whole Image Consultancy thing was a shallow, materialistic based service, which those not in the know think, then you'd be hugely mistaken. For me, being an Image Coach educates and delivers you and your confidence back to you on a plate, with a side order of ‘Love’. That’s just the catalyst that starts the ball rolling and hopefully sparks other things.

My personal experience combined with my learnings, new friends and my message throughout social media in general has become ingrained in me for the positive and continues to do so.

So the moral of this story,... remember to take the time to stop sometimes and enjoy your lot, listen to your inner voice and don't be afraid to question her. Once you start practising saying kinder things to yourself and appreciating what you do have, the crappy stuff eventually quietens down. ...learn to love the shit out of yourself.

Did that last phrase make you feel uneasy? If it did, then you've probably developed a block and feel you don't deserve to do it or may feel it's a tad "vain"? You know, it's ok to feel like that because we're not used to doing it, heck we cant even received compliments half the time, so you see it isn’t narcissistic at all and no one even needs to know you give yourself a hug at night or look in the mirror and give a cheeky wink. “Small tweaks tailor transformations”.

Cherish the positive stuff about you and try to brush the self-sabotaging stuff aside, a bit at a time. Your beliefs are just beliefs and aren’t even based on fact, heck they've probably been planted there by some moron at a country dancing lesson in bleak winter, so don’t let them rule you they mean nothing.

By the way before you cast your mind back to that fateful afternoon, I've since seen Mr Popular and I can hand on heart say that he is still a moron only much much bigger and yes I do believe in Karma. The aging process has not been kind."

Sara Marsden-Shreeve

The Image Tree
Award Winning Image Consultant, Coach and Body Positive Advocate

Original article https://www.the-imagetree.co.uk/post/2018/05/29/sticks-and-stones-built-my-business

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

February 16, 2020

Learning to be kinder to ourselves.

Hands up if you've spent countless hours scrolling through Instagram, clicking "like" on women you think look great in that new dress, or with the new haircut or house only to come away feeling down about yourself or your own life? We've all been guilty of it at some point I'm sure. I'm a huge fan of social media as it's brought so many real life connections with some fabulous women but there can also be a very negative side to it. You definitely need to remind yourself that it's not all real; sadly lots of women still filter and photoshop the hell out of themselves, you wouldn't recognise them if you passed them in the street. We very rarely show the bad or mundane aspects of our lives, although those that do often get the most support and engagement from others. We all need this reality check sometimes and learn to be kinder to ourselves.

It doesn't help when media advertising constantly feed us images of perfect, youthful women who we can't possibly relate to because she's 4 inches taller or three sizes smaller and thirty years younger! Some brands have begun to understand the real need for diversity in their campaigns; I honestly believe one day we won't even need this conversation and it will just be the norm, but we are a long way off. Our natural default setting seems to lead us to compare ourselves to others and very rarely in a positive way. If you do struggle with this and it leaves you feeling negative about yourself I would suggest you curate the list of people you follow. Follow the people that leave you feeling inspired, motivated and happy and it will definitely help your mental well-being. The saying 'comparison is the thief of joy' is so true.

Monday Motivation from Emily Barclay, the Perimenopause Hub

Thank you to Emily Barclay from The Perimenopause Hub, for this weeks' Monday Motivation with a gentle reminder to be kinder to ourselves and as Emily says...."be more dog"!

"In an age of social media, it is very easy for us to become all consumed with the idea of 'perfection'. Physically this comes from the constant messages that we are bombarded with from all angles; how being slimmer will make us happier, being overweight means we automatically lazy and unhealthy, that to lose weight is simply a question of willpower. It’s no surprise many of us struggle to feel anything positive about our bodies.

Then there’s the mental health aspect. If it isn’t enough that we have learnt to hate our bodies, we also are constantly surrounded by images of others’ ideal lives. On a conscious level, we know that they have just as many bad days and troublesome issues to deal with as we do, yet most only post the positive aspect of their lives on social media, so we can very easily end up with a skewed outlook, which can lead to feelings of low self-worth, and even depression and anxiety.

And yet each and every one of us is just so special. Our body is our vessel through life. It enables us to do so many amazing things. Just today my body has let me wear Mr Men leggings, it has allowed me to lift weights, it has enabled me to hug my dogs, it has enjoyed some sunshine and cold winter air.

Our minds are amazing places that hold onto information we have learnt along the way, that interpret the tiny things we see and hear all the time, that come up with crazy dreams.

So why the title: Be More Dog. I have six dogs. They don’t compare themselves to celebrity dogs on instadog. They don’t have hang-ups about their hair length or their tail colour. No, they use their body to do what they want to do – to run around, to chase each other, to play, to eat, to walk. They don’t worry about an imagined future or panic that Buster from up the road is better at chasing a ball than they are.

We can learn a lot from our furry friends. If we need to feel more comfortable in our skin, just look at different breeds of dog: the Greyhound isn’t judging the Labrador for having a big appetite; the Great Dane isn’t thinking the Dachshund is somehow lesser because his legs are short; the Frenchie doesn’t think the Doberman has a ridiculously big nose. Yet these are all things we judge ourselves on.

Likewise, the Spaniel is happy sniffing around until she next has a ball to chase; the Jack Russel is snoozing until the postman comes and needs seeing off; the Retriever is curled up on the sofa until her human comes home.

The next time you catch yourself inwardly judging yourself, whether physically or mentally, just take a moment and see how you can be more dog in the situation. Be kind to yourself. Canine you isn’t comparing to anyone else or stressing over the unimportant, and you don’t need to either."

Emily Barclay

Founder

Perimenopause Hub

Perimenopausehub.com

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

February 9, 2020

Small steps BIG CHANGES! By Lesley Greenwood

Welcome to a bit of Monday motivation. One of things I love most about where I am today is being able to make connections with other women and gain inspiration and motivation from other peoples journeys. I hope to be able to share some guest blogs each Monday that will offer a bit of positivity and food for thought for the week ahead.

This weeks guest blogger is Lesley Greenwood,BSc (hons) MSc Clinical Science Psychotherapist/Counsellor. Lesley Is 55 and feels Fab which I love!

"Menopause is a bit of a pain but I don't let it define me , I started running age 51 and ran my first Marathon in London age 52 ! I think we should worship and be thankfuul for whatever our bodies can do!"

I am a Psychotherapist and counsellor and have a degree in Psychology and age 53 I got my Masters degree in Clinical Science from the University of Chester.About 12 years ago now when the WWW was new to me and I was struggling with the internet and computers in general I went to a night school class at the local high school to learn how to use a computer properly. I was terrified of being left behind in the ever complex world of new technology. Little did I know then that it would lead me to graduating from the University of Chester with a Masters Degree in Clinical Sciences, which happened to me yesterday!

When I look back I was so nervous actually walking through the door of the class room as I hadn’t been in an educational setting since I left school age 18 after my A levels (as it was then) in 1982. I took a job in an office and shortly after in my early 20’s married, as was often the case, you took a job , got married and had a family, Gosh how we have moved on as women!!

Stepping back into the learning environment in 2007 was quite daunting but I told myself its only night school no one will know me and if I don’t like it I don’t have to go back… before I went I was filling my mind with negative thoughts.

However as with many things the experience of night school was much better than I had anticipated, everyone was in the same boat, nobody new how to send an email and I stuck it out for 6 months and we all helped each other. I was also lucky enough to meet an amazing lady who was our teacher and mentor and I got chatting to her one night after class and she told me she had a degree in Psychology. I had secretly always felt I’d missed out not going to university in the early 80’s and Psychology was the subject I was fascinated with as people are just so damn interesting and everyday I’m amazed and inspired as to what the human race can achieve.

I went home with my head spinning and the next week I applied to the University of Chester to take a Psychology degree. To my utter amazement they accepted me, and in 2008 I began the course, It wasn’t easy life got in the way, sick in laws financial problems due to the crash that started in 2007 and feelings of self doubt, however four years later after lots of hard work determination and support from family I graduated with a BSc (hons) Psychology degree. I couldn’t believe it.

I started working and write about Psychological issues and mental health and well-being and upped my walking activity to get a bit fitter. Healthy body, healthy mind, etc. I then started to walk a bit faster and in May 2016 I ran a local 5k race without telling a sole, I doubted myself again, as many of us do, but to my utter amazement I finished it !!

It inspired me to run a little further, and the weight started to come of first time in years (I so struggle with my weight and menopause doesn’t help!)

11 months later I ran the London Marathon finished, got a medal and was in total shock age 52 I had completed my first marathon having only taken up running 11 months earlier!

I then started a Masters of Clinical science age 53 and graduated from that 2 years later yesterday, and was lucky enough to be presented my Degree of Master of Science by the wonderful Gyles Brandreth, but to top it of receiving an Honorary doctorate at the same time was the amazing actress Joanna Lumly…It really was an absolutely fabulous day!!

I’m now a professional psychotherapist and health and well-being advisor and guest writer for the wonderful www.countrywives.co.uk community run by the inspiring duo Annabel & Grace, a career I thoroughly enjoy.

If you had told me 12 years ago that this was where I would end up , after walking in the night school class being shown how to send an email I would never have believed you! But more than that I would have found the whole experience just too daunting and would never have started the journey.

So my very best advice to everyone out there considering any change in life is

“small steps BIG CHANGES!” it’s the smallest of actions that can lead to enormous changes in life. Who knows where it will take you, who know ‘s who will inspire you along the way? The important thing is to take that first step. Even if you have been reluctant to venture out recently try by going for a short walk in the countryside with a friend or even alone with a pet, the fresh air and nature will make you feel so much better!!

Have a wonderful week ladies and remember “small steps, BIG CHANGES!”

Best wishes

Lesley Greenwood Bsc Pschology (hons) MSc Clinical Science MBPsS

You can contact :-

Lesley Greenwood BSc (hons) MSc Clinical Science Psychotherapist/Counsellor

Twitter @Lesley Ann Green

Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/412570

Email LuluGreen64@hotmail.com

What small steps can you take today ? I'd love to know what you all have planned this week to keep you moving forward and help you step out of your bubble.

Keep being fabulous

Rachel x

October 21, 2019

Flat and Fabulous with Juliet Fitzpatrick

I am inspired by women on a daily basis which is why I set up the podcast and the blog in the first place, to be able to share these stories of women getting on with their lives in extra ordinary ways.My next guest blogger has been on an incredible journey through cancer and is on a mission to help show other women that living flat is is more than ok. Juliet is helping other women by being such an active campaigner and is also a shining example of why the media and advertising need to start representing more diversity in their advertising.

So let's meet Juliet Fitzpatrick.

"I've just turned 58 and live in Hertfordshire with Liam, my husband of nearly 30 years and our two whippets. I have two grown up children. My son is nearly 28 and my daughter is 24. I met Liam in the third week of our first year at Manchester University and we've been together ever since. Strangely, both of our kids also graduated from Manchester University so it's a full house! I studied History and then went on to get a post graduate qualification in Library & Information Studies - I think, mainly because I loved books and reading. That hasn't changed. I never really worked as a librarian but specialised in research and information gathering. I was determined to be a full time mother and loved it but it did mean that I sacrificed my career to be at home.

I did have various part time jobs after I'd had the children and they were mainly in the sports industry. Sport has been the huge passion of my life. I played loads at school and university and then went on to work in rugby and sports development. I love being active now and exercise as a way of being strong and fit rather than to lose weight. I think I'm fitter now than when I was at home with my kids.

Life was going along swimmingly until 2016 when everything changed. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January that year and had a left mastectomy, chemotherapy and a targeted drug called Herceptin."

Breast Cancer Now campaign

Can you remember those early feelings when you found out the news?

I felt utter shock and misery. I couldn't believe that I would be losing one of my breasts. It was one of the things that I most dreaded in my life-long with having to have chemotherapy. I'm not sure why I had even thought about it before I had cancer but losing my hair and one or both my breasts filled me with dread.

How easy was it to get the surgeon to agree to the second mastectomy?

It was not easy at all! Early on, I asked to have a bilateral mastectomy but that was quickly refused by my surgeon as he wouldn't remove healthy tissue. I asked for the second mastectomy at every surgical check up after the operation but my surgeon kept asking me to wait a little longer. My breast care nurse was very supportive of my request and backed me up each time. Eventaully, I sat in the examination couch naked from the waist up and asked my surgeon why he thought that I'd want to live as I was with one large breast. At that point he agreed that he would do the second mastectomy so that I could be symmetrical and it happened 18 months after the first.

What changes do you think need to be made so that surgeons and the health service give back the women's choice more easily?

If women are to make an informed choice then the health care professionals need to give them all the treatment options that are available to them. They should not think that they know what the patient wants- in the case of mastectomy patients-that most will want their bodies back to what they were. I think that women should be listened to better and taken much more seriously. In reality, I don't think that it's that simple. Many trusts and clinical Commissioning Groups have guidelines that restrict surgeons from carrying out contralateral prophylactic mastectomies (like I had) or limit the timescale that such procedures are carried out. Hospitals often have reconstruction information events where details are discussed but that usually doesn't include flat. I'd like to try and get in to these events to put forward the flat option.Understanding what each individual wants is key and that only comes by listening and talking.

Stand up to Cancer Defiance campaign in October 2019– Photographer Ami Barwell for Stand Up To Cancer

When times have been really difficult, how, what has got you through them? What does your self care look like?

My family has been my constant support. My husband Liam and I supported each other when we were both ill- he after heart surgery and me with my cancer treatment. My children have been wonderful. Dan who was 24 was about to go on an elective to Australia at the end of his medical degree. He still went but called me every day and cut his trip short by a week once he knew that I'd have to have a mastectomy. Laura was almost 21 when I was diagnosed and doing her dissitation for her degree. She was amazing- looking after me and her dad whilst juggling her studies and exams. She got a First which was fantastic. She was the one who supported and encouraged me to look at my chest after my first mastectomy. Some of my friends stepped up and others didn't. I got very close to a new friend and now we are the very best of friends. We bonded through weekly dog walks and photos- she took the very first topless image of me.

The other things that got me through are growing my flowers, exercise once I'd had my hip replacement, walking, watching any sport going and corny Amercian dramas like Greys Anatomy and Chicago Fire. I love them and still watch them. Now, my self care revolves around twice weekly PT sessions and weekly psychotherapy sessions. I feel like I really need both to keep me on an even keel mentally, I also love being fitter and stronger physically than I have been for many years.

How did you get involved in the Dove Show Us project? Can you tell us about the idea behind the project?

I'd done a photoshoot with Sophie Mayanne for her Behind the Scars project which had gone well. Sophie was asked to submit a few women including me for another project which turned out to be #ShowUS. She was successful with three of the women, including me and we had a photoshoot in October last year. One of the images from the shoot went on to be chosen as a global image that has been used all over the world, including Times Square, Piccadilly Circus, a beach in Cannes and in numerous other countries.There has also been a lot of print media and advertising. Project #ShowUs is the worlds largest photo library created by women and non binary individuals to shatter beauty stereotypes. With over 5000 images, it offers a more inclusive vision of beauty to all media and advertising. Women from around the world are redefining beauty on our own terms.

Juliet on a billboard for the Dove #ShowUs image in May 2019

How did you feel seeing yourself on billboards in the centre of London and knowing thousands os people would have seen your topless breast less image around the world, including Times Square?

It was amazing to see myself on billboards at Piccadilly Circus and I felt so proud of myself. It was exciting and surreal all at once. I felt like I'd achieved what I set out to which is to increase the visibility of flat women whether that's in advertising, print media or through social media. I'm delighted that thousands of people will have seen it. I know that that image will have been seen by some women who are having to take difficult decisions about their bodies. If it helps one woman to know it's ok to live without breasts then I have been successful.

My friends and family have all been very supportive and proud of me for putting myself out there so openly. They know what my aim is and want me to succeed. I think that they’re quite surprised at what I’ve done because pre cancer Juliet definitely wouldn’t have done any of the things that I’ve done since I became flat. Dan & Laura frequently tell me how proud they are of me which is amazing for me to hear. Liam is a great sounding board and offers me such good advice when I’m unsure about whether what I’m doing is right for me.

What changes would you love to see in the media and advertising?

I’d love to see less reliance on skinny young models whose images have clearly been digitally altered. It would be good to see more older models and greater use of models with visible differences and disabilities. Just much more representation of society as it really is and not the imagination of brands or ad agencies. It would be great if images used in media and advertising were not digitally altered and the models appear as they truly were at that moment in time.

Behind the Scars photoshoot in June 2018. It ended up in a pop up exhibition in the V&A museum – Sophie Mayanne for Behind the Scars

Through out this process you started a blog www.bloomingcancer.co.uk which I have been plowing through the posts, you are so honest and I can see how this would help so many women.When did you decide to start the blog?

I started the blog about three months after I had my second mastectomy in February 2018. It was just at the time that my scar had healed and I asked my friend and photographer, Sue, to take photos of my new body shape. We’d talked about doing such a photo shoot for some time. She’d taken some photos of me when I was going through chemotherapy and had no hair, and also once my hair had grown back and I’d had my first post chemo hair cut. I knew that I’d feel comfortable with her and be able to trust her when I would be feeling vulnerable.

The photos were so good that I wanted other people to see them. I decided that I would start blogging as I hadn’t really written about my cancer and the decision that I’d taken to live flat. The response to my first post was amazing and so positive. Some women who were going through similar to me told me that they’d never seen a breastless chest before and that it had helped them to think more about what decisions they would take after mastectomy. It really kick started my whole campaigning and advocacy life and made me realise that I could make a difference.

The first topless photoshoot I did with my good friend in 2018– Sue Lacey Photography.

You have shown real determination to keep fit and healthy, how did you become Ambassador to 5kYourWay? Do you think we all put too much pressure on ourselves and compare ourselves to what others are achieving when it comes to exercise?

I saw a tweet about 5K Your Way and contacted the organisers to see if I could set up an event in Rickmansworth. It was as easy as that. What hasn’t been easy is actually managing to get people to come along to take part. My event has yet to really take off and I only have one or two regular participants.

I’m not sure about that. In the cancer world I think that people compare themselves to others in the context of being well enough to exercise. Some of us have recovered quicker than others and are able to do more. Others have more side effects or fatigue which is longer lasting. It can be discouraging for those who feel less able to exercise to constantly hear from others who are more able. I think that comparison is pointless but is so easy to do. I try hard not to compare myself to others but it isn’t always easy. Having a target to aim for is a much healthier way of thinking than comparing ourselves to what others are doing.

What's the best piece of advice you've been given?

&

Juliet is such an inspiring women and if you'd like to read more please check out her blog www.bloomingcancer.co.uk you can also follow her on Instagram @julietkfp and Twitter @Julietfitzy.

if you have a story to share please get in touch as I'd love to hear from you-

rachelperumodel@gmail.com

Keep being fabulous x

October 16, 2019

Meet photographer Margaret Soraya and discover her breathtaking landscape photography.

I interviewed some really inspiring women last year and Margaret Soraya certainly had an impact on me. Margaret is a self confessed introvert and amazing landscape photographer. Margaret tells us what life is like as a photographer living in an idyllic village by Loch Ness in Scotland. At the age of 44 Margaret is really beginning to explore her passion for landscape photography and rekindling her love of the ocean. We talk about her journey, the beauty in travelling solo and following your passion. You can't fail to read this and come away feeling calmer and inspired by this lady.

Can you set the scene and describe where you live in Scotland?

I live in really small village on the edge of Loch Ness, I don't have the views from my house but I can just walk 2 minutes to the edge of the loch. It's pretty amazing really. I often go down in the Summer for a swim first thing, it's a pretty nice place to live.

I grew up in Manchester, I lived there until I was 19. I just had this vision of going somewhere really remote and I was fascinated by the highlands of Scotland and I love quiet places and landscapes. I got a summer job at first and travelled backwards and forwards whilst at college. Over the years I've moved around quite a lot but I settled in this village about four years ago and we're staying.

Did you study photography at university?

I started off doing a fine art degree in Coventry and then I switched to photography in South Wales but I only finished half of it. I never did really well to be honest, it was a struggle for me, the tutors didn't really like me very much. I don't think they liked my quietness and it's one of the things that's become quite powerful in my life now. It's something I feel quite passionate about, I am a quiet person and I am an introvert but I do have a lot of talent.

A lot of people overlook introverts and their talents just because they don't speak out. I left university a bit down hearted and I didn't do any photography for the next ten years, I just didn't pick up a camera again. I kind of lost my way after that.

Ironically the things that I would do, like in water photography, the waves and the sea, which no one really got, is something that I've just started to do more of now. A lot of the work I was doing back then is starting to be back in my life now so I obviously knew what I was supposed to do, what I loved doing, but other people were telling me it was the wrong thing to do.

After your long gap of not doing any photography what was the thing that sparked your interest again?

Well I got married and I had the children, I think my youngest was about six months old and I had this overwhelming feeling that I couldn't just do this, I know children are lovely but it was so all consuming and it wasn't me, I needed something more. I quickly decided to set up a wedding photography business, to make a little bit of money on the side but then simultaneously my husband lost his job. I had to make the decision to either stop doing it so he could go and do what he needed to do or make it work and I ended up bringing in the income for the household. So it was a bit of an accident really and it grew from there. Ten years on we split up and obviously that business then became really really important to me.

To make these decisions you must have had a lot of self belief. Have you always had that confidence or is a new development?

It's a funny word confidence isn't it. I've been thinking a lot about that recently and I would say all my life I have suffered with a lack of confidence. I think that comes from being put down by people when I was younger because I was quiet and it seems to have stayed with me throughout my life. But what I think I did gain, particularly when my marriage broke down was courage. The courage to say, ok I might not have the confidence to do this but I have the courage to try it, the confidence will then come from that and it has actually. I'm still working on that. As I step away from the wedding photography to pursue what I really want to do I'm having to find a lot of courage and confidence to do these things. I don't like being in the spotlight at all so standing on the stage to do a talk recently in front of 200 people was my idea of hell but I did it because I need to share my work and get out there.

What kind of tools did you use to help you make that first presentation in front of 200 people? What advice could you give?

You do stand there just before you go on and think why am I putting myself through this, why am I doing it? The truth is if it's something you feel really passionate about then don't keep it inside yourself. If you have value and want to share it with people why stand in the wings? You tend to find the people that are naturally confident and outgoing will always take the stage but that doesn't mean they have more talent or more to give than you. If there's something inside you then just go for it and find the courage and it will get easier each time. I started small, speaking at small camera clubs and each time I go the nerves dissipate slowly.

You now have this real passion fro landscape photography, what does a typical day look like for you shooting outdoors?

Well for my own personal landscape work I have a real passion for quiet places, I love really remote places and being by myself. The way that I work I have to be by myself, it doesn't work if I'm surrounded by people. I go off to the outer Hebrides a lot and I've started exploring the other Scottish islands as well. I travel a lot in the Winter and I've now got a converted Sprinter van so that means I can literally go park on the edge of nowhere and stay for days on end if I want to. It's quite an interesting thing to do, you really have to be happy in yourself, I think some people would struggle with that, but I think it's wonderful. Now I feel like it's time for me to do what I want to really do. The new business of retreats and taking people out to be part of it, exploring these remote areas and teaching mindfulness through photography is a new venture and it feels a wee bit scary but again its that courage thing again.

There still seems to be a real stigma in society around women travelling alone which then has a knock of womens confidence about it. How have you found the retreats, do more women come with friends or alone?

Theres a lot of women that come alone actually which is exactly what I was expecting and it's really interesting. I just love these kind of women that want to travel alone because it's quite empowering. I went to India three years ago on my own, I just picked a place, booked a flight and off I went.Thats the probably the most intrepid thing I've done and I'm proud of myself for doing that. I've always had itchy feet and wanted to travel and then when I got married I was kind of trapped for a while so once the marriage had actually broken I was lucky enough to do a bit of travelling with a travel journalist doing the photography for about five years. I've come to the point now where I think Scotland is just so incredible that the travel bug for going around the world has dissipated which is really nice.

This has all clearly enriched your life in a different direction. When you go off in the winter do you sill continue your wild swimming?

Yes, when I say 'swim' lets put that in adverted brackets! Outdoor swimming for me, there's no goal to reach, like oh I've done two miles outdoors today, for me it's about the experience. It's really hard to describe but when you go in to really cold water afterwards when you come out it's the most amazing feeling ever. It's like a massive natural high. When I swim in the winter I just dip but it's an amazing feeling being out and immersed in the water, it's fantastic.

You strike me as someone that has really found peace in your life , how ambitious are you for the future?

I would say I'm very ambitious, I think I've had so many years of being held back. When I first split up with my husband I lost everything, the house, everything went. So I had to start again from nothing, it was quite traumatic but its been a long road uphill for me. I think for the last ten years I've just been getting through and paying the bills so when I bought my house last year it was a massive achievement and turning point for me. I can start to see and move forwards now. My ambition has really come after that, I can see a future now.

Favourite song-

Make Your Own Kind Of Music by Cass Elliot. I love the lyrics, it's about doing your own thing, it doesn't matter if others don't like it.

Inspiring book-

Quiet by Susan Cain. I read this book a couple of years ago and it really changed my life. Anybody that struggles with being introverted should read it.

Inspired by-

American writer and lecturer Susan Cain. She had a similar journey to me. She struggled with being an introvert and now stands up and does talks, she's presented Ted talks and to watch her go through that journey is amazing. Other than that it's just women who are out there doing their own thing with passion and drive. I just love seeing women of any age swimming against the tide.

To see more of Margaret's beautiful photography you can find her on instagram @margaretsoraya and her website www.margaretsoraya.com

To listen to the full interview

Keep being fabulous
x

More from the blog

Social Bubble - On Instagram

Wrong or no access token.

LIBERTÉ FREE TO BE

Liberte Free to Be champions women who are embracing life and leaving a trail of inspiration along the way. Inspiring others to become more confident in body and mind.

We all have a story to tell.
 

STEP OUT OF THE BUBBLE FACEBOOK GROUP

If you're looking for a safe space to share experiences, challenges and successes with a global community of women finding their own way through midlife, then come and join the group.

Join Now
 

SIGN UP TO OUR NEWSLETTER

Please wait...

Thank you for sign up!