Liberte Free to Be blog

March 1, 2020

When does self improvement become a problem?

Self- improvement - Where does it stop?

''I’m all for self-improvement being the best you can be is so commendable and it's what so many of us strive for on a daily basis, Eat healthy, exercise, dress well, use beauty products and enhancements. However, when does self-improvement become a problem?

I've been pondering that question for quite a while now and recently I've begun to realise just how much advertisers depend and procure our insecurities for financial gain.

I sat down with my 84-year-old father last week and had a really long chat, although I'm close to my parents it's not something I think we do anywhere near enough.

My father has had two new hips, two new knees extensive heart surgery with a combined defibrillator and a pacemaker fitted within his chest and he's permanently in contact via these devices to a specialist heart unit. However, my father remains a generally happy and above anything else a contented man.

He's captain of the local bowls team, yes how can he bowl with all those artificial joints ?? but he does.

He's happily married to my mother and has been for 56 years and he's head of our family which includes 10 women and no men apart from my husband but none biologically related and we all adore him.

He's not however been overly concerned with money mothers always done that and he's never been on a diet in his life or watched his alcohol units. And wouldn’t dream of having a mobile phone “ Why do I want people bothering me 24/7.

He said to me he's happy when he's with his family and friends at the local pub having a pint after bowling and sport!

Either partaking not so much now obviously or watching sport makes him very happy.

Keeping connected is his key. He told me about all the amazingly wealthy good looking and ambitious people he had known over his lifetime, dad is more of a plodder turned around to me and said but they're all dead now there's not many of us left, but I'm still here.

It got me thinking about whats really important about aging well and self-improvement, sometimes it can be so over consuming and hard work keeping up with all the latest trends and beauty tweakments that we quite forget to enjoy the moment. We're so busy striving for better and better that we often don't realise this may be as good as it gets.

Looking back in 10 years from now we may just kick ourselves especially when we look at photographs and think why didn’t I appreciate how good I looked, why was I worried about what people thought about me or why did I think I looked fat in that!

Self improvement is fine as long as you don’t get sucked into that never-ending barrage of false promises false claims of wonder creams, potion's and lotions.

Dad recommends fun and love as the two most important things that are important to him and a positive outlook.

Enjoy every day as if it were your last, as one day it definitely will be!!''

Best wishes

Lesley Greenwood

Link to my professional profile !

https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/412570

You can contact :-

Lesley Greenwood BSc (hons) MSc Clinical Science Psychotherapist/Counsellor

Twitter @Lesley Ann Green

Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/412570

Email LuluGreen64@hotmail.com

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Liberte Free to Be Podcast

Tags: happiness, inspiringwomen, liveinthemoment, mondymotivation, outofthebubble, selflove

February 23, 2020

How an image coach can renew your confidence.

Listen to your inner voice and don't be afraid to question her" by Sara Marsden-Shreeve

This weeks Monday motivation comes from award winning colour, style and confidence consultant Sara Marden-Shreeve at The Image Tree. Sara is not your average image consultant, using her degree in psychology and coaching qualifications , Sara helps women build their confidence from the inside and out. I love her motto "Rock what you've already got" and this weeks post is a reminder to us all to be kinder to ourselves and to listen to that inner voice too!

"There I am aged 12, stood in the gym at our schools’ annual Christmas country dancing seasonal treat in darkest deepest Winter...yes you heard right bizarre eh? When I think about it now, I still feel a little gip in my stomach.

It was the usual scenario of girls one side and boys the other in which the popular "lotharios" got to strut their confidence and choose their bottle green clad damsel in a pencil skirt. How romantic?

I was usually one of the stragglers at the end, awkwardly looking at her scuffed shoes whilst the remaining boys chose with equal embarrassment and shame. You know... the usual demeaning stuff on the mean road to adulthood.

Everyone got to dance with everyone else as you’re passed from pillar to post and got to swing around and do the ‘dosey- doh’ and so on.. it beat sitting in lessons on a Friday afternoon I guess!

Well, towards the end of the afternoon I moved up the rows and eventually got to partner with one of THE top lads in the year, Mr Popularity himself. I literally gulped in my very soul. At this point, he quite loudly scoffed to his surrounding mates and groupies on my approach, whilst the teacher was pratting around with the stereo system, that it would be best that he not get too close ( to me) in case he caught and I quote “ugly disease”.

I remember feeling an inner burn; something had fizzled inside me.. the remnants of my self-confidence died and as you well know, there isn’t much to go around anyway in teenage-dom.

The rest of the remaining hour felt like an eternity and I wanted to go home and shrivel up into a ball of nothingness and as fast as possible. Fingers were being pointed and whispers were rife in that gym hall that day.

Needless to say, after that I felt the same sad void for some good ooh 18 years and the 'uglyness' tag continued to hang, plus, what with the acne, the scarcity of boyfriends and the body changes it was all an even slower burn. I think it would be fair to say that I “fell out with myself”, didn’t like me as it were, felt pretty well “flawed” somehow. One stupid comment from one moron took my spark! My arch nemesis ‘the negative belief’ was born. Boom!

As with most of us, life deals you a few shitty hands that seem to scar, but yet we are also delivered great stuff with the other but, we just don’t seem to relish them as much, you know like your first love, trying new things and feeling accomplished at something. Instead, we hang onto the negative, the poisonous things that bury themselves into our very core and stop us becoming truly happy or doing/being…you know ‘that thing’ we’re supposed to do or be. We all have it we just sometimes choose to ignore it because of fear of failure and getting sucked into believing it's all true and we can't or we're not worth it.

So you know what, out of nowhere, at the age of 35, I decided one morning that I was not going to return to Civil Engineering (my current job at the time, which I loved actually) and I was going to do something about me for me, but what?! Whether an angel had whispered these thoughts in my sleep or the universe had taken me by the hand in my dreams the night before, I do not know, but I was about to experience a shift!

I was still on maternity leave with my second child at this time and I felt I was drowning in nappies, housework and monotony. A time that I now see gave me unconditional love partnered with true reflection and the time to see what life can actually bring... family. To be honest, our journey to having a family was straught with miscarriage and loss so you can see how making the decision to do something in life was so inherent. No more victim, I needed to start listening to those crappy inside voices and tell them to shut the hell up and sit down, I'd brought lives into the world for god sake.

So to cut a long story short I realised that my future had always been there, sitting right under my nose, but had not really seen it or even looked for it.

I loved colour, loved fashion, loved people and how they ticked (I have a BA Hons in Applied Social Science) so I was going to learn how to build confidence through learning how to like me and my body again and give it the blummin respect it so deserved! Well-fitting clothes, my own style, flattering colours and love for just being me were my agenda. That way I could pass it on to others whom I know shared the same feelings about themselves and they too would be able to do something about it. Plant those positive seeds as it were...

I qualified via First Impressions in Warwick, first just as a Colour Consultant and then later on as a fully- fledged Image Consultant, I then went onto set up The Image Tree back in 2013. I built my own website, went on fab courses and learned to Blog, use Social Media and get myself out there and join networking groups full of inspiring women.

Through listening, acting on and meeting fabulous people and clients, I now sit on the Style Guru team at Henpicked, frequently speak on BBC radio , work with many local businesses/ larger corporates, collaborate with confidence building brands, present at seminars and even won some awards. Heck I'm even one part of a trio of women entrepreneurs who set up a local networking group with a twist WiRE (Women in Rural Enterprise) to help support and teach other women in business.

A few years ago I also added NLP to my skillset so that I can provide a Coaching string to aid Positive Mind-set further and provide the whole top to toe, inside and out services to any woman who wants to start their Style and Confidence journey. I'm also a massive lover and user of Positive Psychology and have truly niched myself by supplying an holistic approach to Image, because of it's proven powerful effects on myself and other women. Most of my closest colleagues are all practitioners and specialists within the Health, Wellness and Self Care Industry so we all bounce and support off each other. Cool eh?

So if you thought the whole Image Consultancy thing was a shallow, materialistic based service, which those not in the know think, then you'd be hugely mistaken. For me, being an Image Coach educates and delivers you and your confidence back to you on a plate, with a side order of ‘Love’. That’s just the catalyst that starts the ball rolling and hopefully sparks other things.

My personal experience combined with my learnings, new friends and my message throughout social media in general has become ingrained in me for the positive and continues to do so.

So the moral of this story,... remember to take the time to stop sometimes and enjoy your lot, listen to your inner voice and don't be afraid to question her. Once you start practising saying kinder things to yourself and appreciating what you do have, the crappy stuff eventually quietens down. ...learn to love the shit out of yourself.

Did that last phrase make you feel uneasy? If it did, then you've probably developed a block and feel you don't deserve to do it or may feel it's a tad "vain"? You know, it's ok to feel like that because we're not used to doing it, heck we cant even received compliments half the time, so you see it isn’t narcissistic at all and no one even needs to know you give yourself a hug at night or look in the mirror and give a cheeky wink. “Small tweaks tailor transformations”.

Cherish the positive stuff about you and try to brush the self-sabotaging stuff aside, a bit at a time. Your beliefs are just beliefs and aren’t even based on fact, heck they've probably been planted there by some moron at a country dancing lesson in bleak winter, so don’t let them rule you they mean nothing.

By the way before you cast your mind back to that fateful afternoon, I've since seen Mr Popular and I can hand on heart say that he is still a moron only much much bigger and yes I do believe in Karma. The aging process has not been kind."

Sara Marsden-Shreeve

The Image Tree
Award Winning Image Consultant, Coach and Body Positive Advocate

Original article https://www.the-imagetree.co.uk/post/2018/05/29/sticks-and-stones-built-my-business

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Inspiring Women

Tags: bodyandmind, bodypositiveadvocate, confidence, image coach, innervoice, inspiringwomen, outofthebubble, renew your confidence, selfconfidence, selflove, whatstsoppingyou?, womensupportingwomen

February 20, 2020

There’s a new gang in town and they can skate! Meet the Roller Girl Gang, Leeds.

What did you love doing as a child or young adult that you’d love to revisit but think you’re too old? For me it was roller skating. Up until 16 I lived on my skates; they came everywhere with me. Over the years I have come across women still rollerblading in later life and some even starting Roller Derby, but I'd convinced myself I was too old and would probably be a bit like Bambi on ice. I am still regretting that I didn't take the opportunity to try it whilst in L.A. last year as Venice Beach is the place to do it. I still had the little voice in my head holding me back in case I made a complete fool of myself, I guess old habits really are hard to break. Well, as promised at the beginning of this year on my blog I wanted to try new activities and step out of my own comfort zone, so I’ve started with roller skating. I came across the Roller Girl Gang, based in Leeds through social media and just knew I had to get in touch. The Roller Girl Gang was created in 2015 by two friends Len & Mel, both primary school teachers and mums and what I love is their mission to make skating as a sport, accessible to everyone, whatever the level or age. The Roller Girl Gang has people of all ages regularly attending , even a couple in their seventies.

I had a private 1hour lesson booked with Mel and entered the large empty sports hall with a mixture of real excitement and worry. My main concern was falling over and injuring myself, especially after breaking my wrist in 2018 and that was without wheels on my feet! The last time I wore roller skates, they were the ones you had to strap to your shoes , by the time the roller boots became popular I'd moved on.

Mel made sure I was kitted up with all the right protective gear, elbow, knees and wrist pads which helped put me at ease and off we went. I was really hoping it would be like riding a bike and that it would just come back to me quickly and although I was very tentative at first, I’m happy to report it did. Whilst I enjoy swimming and have tried hard to get on with couch to 5K I'm still on the search for a sport that I really enjoy and roller skating might well be it.

It reminded me of that sense of freedom I used to get when I was younger, it’s exhilarating and great exercise too. It wasn’t long before I was skating around the hall without feeling like I was about to lose it. At times I felt like I was moving really quickly but when I’ve watched the video, I really wasn’t at all. Work in progress! In an hour I did manage to skate backwards, stop which is always helpful and do the Lemon! I watched in awe as Mel showed me some of the more technical skills which right now I can't imagine mastering, but I enjoy a challenge.

Roller skating has so many benefits to both your health and mental well being. It's classed as an aerobic exercise and is good for improving your balance and co-ordination. The Girl Gang hold weekly sessions and beginners classes so I can see it becoming a real part of your social calendar. It's definitely a mood booster. I came home smiling and already thinking about when I can go again.

So what's stopping you? It's never too late to try new things and you never know, you might find something new that brings new pleasure in your life. Jo Moseley @healthyhappy50 is a classic example of this. Jo started paddle boarding in her 50's and has now found a new passion in her life, you can find her most weekends out on the canal or the sea. Last year she became the first women to stand up paddle board the North, coast to coast from Liverpool to Goole along the Leeds Liverpool Canal and Aire & Calder Navigation. 162 miles through Merseyside, Lancashire and Yorkshire. So you never know where taking those first steps to trying something new might lead to!

To find out more about the Roller Girl Gang please visit https://www.rollergirlgang.co.uk/

Instagram @roller_girl_gang

What should I try next?

Keep being fabulous

Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Liberte Free to Be Podcast

February 16, 2020

Learning to be kinder to ourselves.

Hands up if you've spent countless hours scrolling through Instagram, clicking "like" on women you think look great in that new dress, or with the new haircut or house only to come away feeling down about yourself or your own life? We've all been guilty of it at some point I'm sure. I'm a huge fan of social media as it's brought so many real life connections with some fabulous women but there can also be a very negative side to it. You definitely need to remind yourself that it's not all real; sadly lots of women still filter and photoshop the hell out of themselves, you wouldn't recognise them if you passed them in the street. We very rarely show the bad or mundane aspects of our lives, although those that do often get the most support and engagement from others. We all need this reality check sometimes and learn to be kinder to ourselves.

It doesn't help when media advertising constantly feed us images of perfect, youthful women who we can't possibly relate to because she's 4 inches taller or three sizes smaller and thirty years younger! Some brands have begun to understand the real need for diversity in their campaigns; I honestly believe one day we won't even need this conversation and it will just be the norm, but we are a long way off. Our natural default setting seems to lead us to compare ourselves to others and very rarely in a positive way. If you do struggle with this and it leaves you feeling negative about yourself I would suggest you curate the list of people you follow. Follow the people that leave you feeling inspired, motivated and happy and it will definitely help your mental well-being. The saying 'comparison is the thief of joy' is so true.

Monday Motivation from Emily Barclay, the Perimenopause Hub

Thank you to Emily Barclay from The Perimenopause Hub, for this weeks' Monday Motivation with a gentle reminder to be kinder to ourselves and as Emily says...."be more dog"!

"In an age of social media, it is very easy for us to become all consumed with the idea of 'perfection'. Physically this comes from the constant messages that we are bombarded with from all angles; how being slimmer will make us happier, being overweight means we automatically lazy and unhealthy, that to lose weight is simply a question of willpower. It’s no surprise many of us struggle to feel anything positive about our bodies.

Then there’s the mental health aspect. If it isn’t enough that we have learnt to hate our bodies, we also are constantly surrounded by images of others’ ideal lives. On a conscious level, we know that they have just as many bad days and troublesome issues to deal with as we do, yet most only post the positive aspect of their lives on social media, so we can very easily end up with a skewed outlook, which can lead to feelings of low self-worth, and even depression and anxiety.

And yet each and every one of us is just so special. Our body is our vessel through life. It enables us to do so many amazing things. Just today my body has let me wear Mr Men leggings, it has allowed me to lift weights, it has enabled me to hug my dogs, it has enjoyed some sunshine and cold winter air.

Our minds are amazing places that hold onto information we have learnt along the way, that interpret the tiny things we see and hear all the time, that come up with crazy dreams.

So why the title: Be More Dog. I have six dogs. They don’t compare themselves to celebrity dogs on instadog. They don’t have hang-ups about their hair length or their tail colour. No, they use their body to do what they want to do – to run around, to chase each other, to play, to eat, to walk. They don’t worry about an imagined future or panic that Buster from up the road is better at chasing a ball than they are.

We can learn a lot from our furry friends. If we need to feel more comfortable in our skin, just look at different breeds of dog: the Greyhound isn’t judging the Labrador for having a big appetite; the Great Dane isn’t thinking the Dachshund is somehow lesser because his legs are short; the Frenchie doesn’t think the Doberman has a ridiculously big nose. Yet these are all things we judge ourselves on.

Likewise, the Spaniel is happy sniffing around until she next has a ball to chase; the Jack Russel is snoozing until the postman comes and needs seeing off; the Retriever is curled up on the sofa until her human comes home.

The next time you catch yourself inwardly judging yourself, whether physically or mentally, just take a moment and see how you can be more dog in the situation. Be kind to yourself. Canine you isn’t comparing to anyone else or stressing over the unimportant, and you don’t need to either."

Emily Barclay

Founder

Perimenopause Hub

Perimenopausehub.com

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Inspiring Women

Tags: bekinder, inspiringwords, midlifemotivation, mondaymotivation, outofthebubble, selflove

February 14, 2020

The Acupuncture Place with Samantha McNamara

Have you tried acupuncture?

Move over botox there's a new treatment in town, except it's not exactly new but an ancient Chinese acupuncture treatment that all the celebrities are raving about.

I’m not one of those women that religiously books in for facials or beauty treatments, which considering my profession might come as a surprise. It seems so hard to keep up with the latest ‘best’ beauty product that will apparently make us all look more youthful and usually come with a hefty price tag. The truth is I don’t want to look younger anymore, I’m 50 this year and I’m comfortable enough with my face to accept the changes that come with age. What I do like the idea of is anything that helps give me the look of a great night’s sleep which is currently lacking in my life.

The Acupuncture Place

When I first met Samantha McNamara at an Enterprise Collective networking meeting, I listened with great interest about her acupuncture practice The Acupuncture Place in Pocklingotn, I was intrigued to find out more. What appealed to me about it was the links with ancient natural practice, whilst I was a little anxious at the thought of having needles all over my face, I was keen to give it a try. Samantha has had an extensive career in the beauty industry, what impressed me most was her dedication and passion for Acupuncture and Chinese Herbal treatments which led her to gaining a BSC Hons degree in those subjects in her early forties. I think most us would associate acupuncture as an alternative treatment for pain and injuries but Samantha tailors her treatments to help with your general health and the less obvious beauty treatments.

Trusting the process

As soon as I arrived the surroundings and Samantha made me feel relaxed. We started the session with Samantha taking my pulse with the conclusion that my body was tired. She was spot on! I’ve had a busy time since Christmas and have not really stopped and allowed myself any time to relax. Menopausal night sweats and disruptive sleep have left me feeling tired in a way I’ve not experienced since pregnancy. Those damn hormones! Whilst examining my tongue she told me my digestive system was struggling and I was dehydrated. Again, spot on, I have been regularly skipping lunch then snacking early evening or eating snacks on the run which has ultimately left me feeling bloated and gaining weight. I do drink a lot of water but maybe as my body travels through these changes I need to re-address how and when I hydrate. Samantha has suggested trying coconut water to help so although I’m not a huge fan of the taste I’m going to give it a go. All this before we’ve even got started!

Lying down on a warm bed with soothing music, Samantha started placing needles in various parts of my body; at first I didn’t even feel them. The needle by my right ankle initially throbbed, it wasn’t painful, more like a dull ache, but it quickly disappeared. The needles were placed in my ankles, knees and wrists before moving on to the face.

This was the part that I’d been nervous about as you imagine your face to be more sensitive to pain. The needles are varying in size and meant to help bring fresh blood, oxygen and nutrients to your skin which encourages collagen and elastin production. The only area that I felt a bit of sting was around the middle of my brows where my frown line is getting deeper, but it can’t really be described as pain just a quick sting. In total Samantha placed around 50 needles of varying sizes all over my face and I wouldn’t have known where they were.

What is Dermal LED?

Next came the Dermalux LED therapy mask for half an hour. This process is a non-evasive treatment that uses therapeutic light energy to help trigger the skins natural rejuvenation and repair process whilst you relax. Within the first few minutes of the goggles and mask being placed over me I had a sudden rush of anxiety which I felt rising up to my chest. What I quickly realised was my body was totally relaxed but my brain was still working overtime and there was a battle going on as my body forced me to switch off. A few minutes later this passed and I fell into a deep state of relaxation. During this 30 minutes Samantha worked on reflex points on my feet and due to my relaxed state, I was hardly aware of what was going on but felt very grounded.

A holistic MOT

When the needles are removed you don’t feel it and Samantha then followed with the cupping. I’ve heard of cupping as a body treatment, but I’ve never seen it seen it used on the face. It’s another way of boosting the circulation and removing any build-up of fluids. It’s a strange sensation, I could almost feel the tension being sucked away from my face.

This session felt like I was having a full MOT and I’ve come away really thinking that I need to take more care of my skin. For me it felt like a holistic treatment as well as a practical beauty session.

The benefits of Chinese Gum Sha

The ancient Chinese Gua Sha tool gently scrapes over your moisturised face with a gentle pressure and again improves lymphatic flow and circulation. Samantha used the Jade tool on me, which is the most traditional stone associated with rejuvenation, but other stones are available with differing properties. I’ve seen skin rollers in shops and wondered what their benefits are, so I’ll definitely buy one to add to my skin care routine. Not only does the roller aid absorption but it has a cooling effect on the skin which is perfect for helping the menopausal over heating symptoms.

I had to force myself to come back around once we’d finished. A couple of things surprised me, A) there were no signs of where the needles had been all over my face and B) my skin was glowing.

I am really interested to find out more about alternative treatments to help with my general health and well-being, so this has been a positive start. I would definitely recommend and I can see how having regular acupuncture facials could make a real difference. It's 3 days since the treatment and although no one else would notice a difference my skin feels a bit tighter and looks more refreshed. It's recommended to have a couple a week over a 6 week period.

I can recommend popping over to Samanthas Instagram page as she has some very informative IGTV videos explain all her techniques and some helpful home tips too

To find out more about Samantha McNamara and The Acupuncture Place

https://www.the-acupuncture-place.com/

https://www.facebook.com/The-Acupuncture-Place-368965349980958/

https://www.instagram.com/stories/theacupunctureplacepocklington/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_mid=XYg5vwABAAGYOUEe8S07jv1xgSNI&hl=tl

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Hair and Beauty

February 13, 2020

Why women over 40 need to be seen in lingerie campaigns.

Figleaves Valentines Day Campaign

You should know by now that I'm very passionate about women over 40 being seen in lingerie and swimwear advertising, it's something that I've written about before on the blog. So you can imagine how I felt when I got booked to join the Figleaves Lingerie Valentines 2020 campaign!

We worked on this campaign back in December and from the moment I arrived I could tell it was going to be a great shoot, despite the freezing cold weather outside. The set was so pretty; it always makes me want to rearrange my own home. What I loved about this campaign was how diverse the women were; some women had never done anything like this before and the glass of Prosecco to start the day off was not only a treat but definitely helped calm some nerves. I loved watching everyones' confidence grow throughout the day.

FANTASIE Sophie Underwired Side Support Bra

I'm not going to lie, but when I first saw this image all I could focus on was my 'muffin top' but what's the point of being so critical about something that is so natural? The lingerie set was beautiful, my hair and make up was on point and I was caught in a relaxed happy moment, enjoying the shoot.

90% of the time I am happy with my body and have embraced all that it is, but there are still moments that catch me off guard and cause me to have wobbles. It's something I've been conscious of recently when talking to people about body confidence.

Being body confident is not a definitive state but should be more fluid as you grow older and your body changes. Somedays its more about being kinder to yourself and for me the bad moments don't linger as long.

Women are so quick to judge themselves and focus on the things we don't like about our bodies, instead of celebrating the positive aspects. Spending the day on this shoot really felt empowering, we all have our own body stories but we can all lift each other so much by sharing them and learning from each other. I really believe that all women should experience a lingerie shoot in their lives to help raise their confidence, I find it liberating.

I only hope that more brands start using and representing older women in their marketing. Women want to be able relate to the images they see in lingerie shops, it is demoralising to be constantly bombarded with images of slim 20 year old women when you try on that same bra. It's impossible to not compare yourself and women over 40 have very different bodies to younger women, this needs to be reflected in the images as well. I strongly believe brands should be using a real mixture of ages and sizes so that everyone is catered for. This campaign has made a positive step in doing this which I think is really exciting to see.

Harper Geometric Lace Underwired Plunge Body B-G Cup

I never used to wear bodies but I'm a huge fan of them now. Not only do they hold you in but they are comfortable and supportive too. This outfit was my absolute favourite of the day.

You can read more about all the women involved in the shoot over on the Figleaves blog.

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Body Confidence

Tags: curve model, Figleaves, lingerie campaigns, lingerie model, older model, valentines day campaign, women over 40

February 9, 2020

Small steps BIG CHANGES! By Lesley Greenwood

Welcome to a bit of Monday motivation. One of things I love most about where I am today is being able to make connections with other women and gain inspiration and motivation from other peoples journeys. I hope to be able to share some guest blogs each Monday that will offer a bit of positivity and food for thought for the week ahead.

This weeks guest blogger is Lesley Greenwood,BSc (hons) MSc Clinical Science Psychotherapist/Counsellor. Lesley Is 55 and feels Fab which I love!

"Menopause is a bit of a pain but I don't let it define me , I started running age 51 and ran my first Marathon in London age 52 ! I think we should worship and be thankfuul for whatever our bodies can do!"

I am a Psychotherapist and counsellor and have a degree in Psychology and age 53 I got my Masters degree in Clinical Science from the University of Chester.About 12 years ago now when the WWW was new to me and I was struggling with the internet and computers in general I went to a night school class at the local high school to learn how to use a computer properly. I was terrified of being left behind in the ever complex world of new technology. Little did I know then that it would lead me to graduating from the University of Chester with a Masters Degree in Clinical Sciences, which happened to me yesterday!

When I look back I was so nervous actually walking through the door of the class room as I hadn’t been in an educational setting since I left school age 18 after my A levels (as it was then) in 1982. I took a job in an office and shortly after in my early 20’s married, as was often the case, you took a job , got married and had a family, Gosh how we have moved on as women!!

Stepping back into the learning environment in 2007 was quite daunting but I told myself its only night school no one will know me and if I don’t like it I don’t have to go back… before I went I was filling my mind with negative thoughts.

However as with many things the experience of night school was much better than I had anticipated, everyone was in the same boat, nobody new how to send an email and I stuck it out for 6 months and we all helped each other. I was also lucky enough to meet an amazing lady who was our teacher and mentor and I got chatting to her one night after class and she told me she had a degree in Psychology. I had secretly always felt I’d missed out not going to university in the early 80’s and Psychology was the subject I was fascinated with as people are just so damn interesting and everyday I’m amazed and inspired as to what the human race can achieve.

I went home with my head spinning and the next week I applied to the University of Chester to take a Psychology degree. To my utter amazement they accepted me, and in 2008 I began the course, It wasn’t easy life got in the way, sick in laws financial problems due to the crash that started in 2007 and feelings of self doubt, however four years later after lots of hard work determination and support from family I graduated with a BSc (hons) Psychology degree. I couldn’t believe it.

I started working and write about Psychological issues and mental health and well-being and upped my walking activity to get a bit fitter. Healthy body, healthy mind, etc. I then started to walk a bit faster and in May 2016 I ran a local 5k race without telling a sole, I doubted myself again, as many of us do, but to my utter amazement I finished it !!

It inspired me to run a little further, and the weight started to come of first time in years (I so struggle with my weight and menopause doesn’t help!)

11 months later I ran the London Marathon finished, got a medal and was in total shock age 52 I had completed my first marathon having only taken up running 11 months earlier!

I then started a Masters of Clinical science age 53 and graduated from that 2 years later yesterday, and was lucky enough to be presented my Degree of Master of Science by the wonderful Gyles Brandreth, but to top it of receiving an Honorary doctorate at the same time was the amazing actress Joanna Lumly…It really was an absolutely fabulous day!!

I’m now a professional psychotherapist and health and well-being advisor and guest writer for the wonderful www.countrywives.co.uk community run by the inspiring duo Annabel & Grace, a career I thoroughly enjoy.

If you had told me 12 years ago that this was where I would end up , after walking in the night school class being shown how to send an email I would never have believed you! But more than that I would have found the whole experience just too daunting and would never have started the journey.

So my very best advice to everyone out there considering any change in life is

“small steps BIG CHANGES!” it’s the smallest of actions that can lead to enormous changes in life. Who knows where it will take you, who know ‘s who will inspire you along the way? The important thing is to take that first step. Even if you have been reluctant to venture out recently try by going for a short walk in the countryside with a friend or even alone with a pet, the fresh air and nature will make you feel so much better!!

Have a wonderful week ladies and remember “small steps, BIG CHANGES!”

Best wishes

Lesley Greenwood Bsc Pschology (hons) MSc Clinical Science MBPsS

You can contact :-

Lesley Greenwood BSc (hons) MSc Clinical Science Psychotherapist/Counsellor

Twitter @Lesley Ann Green

Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/412570

Email LuluGreen64@hotmail.com

What small steps can you take today ? I'd love to know what you all have planned this week to keep you moving forward and help you step out of your bubble.

Keep being fabulous

Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Inspiring Women

February 8, 2020

How sustainable is your wardrobe? – Style Swaps & Charity Shops

How often do you clear out your wardrobe? I don’t have space to keep everything in mine all year round so find myself swapping my wardrobe over every season. It’s therapeutic and something I gain a great deal of pleasure from; unpacking clothes that you’ve forgotten about and putting away those pieces that you’ve worn to death over the winter. I love fashion and have always enjoyed that feeling of coming home with something new and playing dress up to see how you can style it but has the current fast fashion trend created an addiction for today’s fashion consumers?

I’m sure I’m not the only one that has become more conscious of the negative impact that the ‘fast fashion’ industry is having on the environment. If you haven’t already watched the BBC’s Stacey Dooley “Fashions Dirty Secrets” documentary, then I can definitely recommend it. As a fashion model its part of my job to sell the clothes I’m modelling, and I do try and keep up with the current trends for each season but I’m no longer a slave to the fast fashion market. I’m 50 this year and I finally know what suits me and try to keep to those key principles in my wardrobe. I think it’s about balance, sometimes I’ll see a new outfit that I know I will get a lot of use out of but I’m equally happy rummaging in charity shops for that bargain find.

I was recently invited by the Shelter charity shop at Kings Cross to come and style a few outfits. Social media is such a great way for shops like this to get their message out there by using influencers, bloggers and fashion lovers to have their photos taken and share their looks. I have always loved shopping in charity shops, I love that feeling when you come across something that fits you perfectly and you know you can give it a new lease of life. I am conscious that there's a lack of larger sizes available in charity shops, a mere reflection of what’s going on in the high street, but it’s often much harder to find clothes in size 14 upwards so I was a bit sceptical about finding 3 outfits here that would fit. I am happy to report this particular charity shop had plenty for me to choose from.

I found a great pair of vintage jeans that were the perfect fit (they came home with me) and teamed it with an Eileen Fisher vest and unbranded army jacket for a more relaxed day look. I’ve been wanting to try an army jacket for a while now and this style session really reminded me to have more fun with fashion and experiment more.

I loved the 60’s inspired Marks and Spencers dress which went so well with my own Steve Madden White boots and handbag. I’m hoping it’s still there on my next visit as I should have bought that too.

Lastly a full-on evening outfit, including a figure-hugging vintage dress, M&S shoes and handbag, proving you really can shop for every occasion in a charity shop. If you have time to spare next time you're in London this Shelter charity shop is well worth a visit.

You can also follow them over on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/shelterkingscross/?hl=en

So how else can we step away from that desire to have something new to wear that I suspect the majority of us experience at times?

Two stylists from York, Sara Anson and Laura Fawcett have created an event that hopes to change the way we shop and think about our wardrobes in the form of Style Swaps. I grew up constantly swapping outfits with my close friend as a teenager because we couldn’t afford to keep buying new clothes, in fact on some occasions we still do. I spoke to Sara about why they think it’s so important “We do it to raise awareness of the impact fast fashion is having on the environment & encourage people to think about how they shop. To date we have swapped over 1000 of items of clothes (over 3 events) that may have ended up in landfill".

The idea behind the style swap is that everyone brings a minimum of 8 good quality items, which can be clothes, accessories or shoes that they no longer wear, and they can then shop the rails taking the same number of items. What’s not to love about the idea of 8 new items of clothing without having to worry about your bank balance and knowing you’re doing something good to help the planet? Sara explained that ‘‘events are always very popular (usually sold out!) We get a lot of really good quality clothes, a lot of the time still with tags on. It’s a great way to refresh your wardrobe for minimal cost & socialise with likeminded women.”

Tickets for their last event in January sold out fast and for an £8 ticket you can come and shop, have a cocktail and gain on the spot styling tips from Sara and Laura to help you create your own capsule wardrobe. I can see how trying clothes on this environment would really make you think about what will work with your existing wardrobe and you are still left with that natural high of coming home with something new. Any clothes left over from events then get sent to charity shops to continue the sustainable journey.

It’s reported that across the world we’re producing over 100 billion new garments from new fibres every single year and that just can’t be sustainable. With fast fashion brands offering cheap clothes with new stock coming in on a weekly basis, it certainly makes you think how as consumer we all have a part to play in helping change the industry for the better. Whilst I can’t say I won’t continue to buy new clothes; I am committed to buying less and wearing more pre-loved clothes so I can’t wait to attend the next Sustainable Style Swap on the 30th April in Wetherby.

To keep up to date with Sara and Laura’s events you can find them at https://www.styledbysara.co.uk/ and www.laurafawcett.co.uk

I'd love to know what your favourite charity find has been?

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Fashion

Tags: charity shops, second hand fashion, style swops, sustainable fashion, sustainable wardrobe

February 1, 2020

Body confidence on camera.

Body Talk exhibition with Shy Burham photography & poet Sharena Lee Sattit

Many women still feel very uncomfortable talking about their bodies, particularly in a positive manner. We are all so good at complimenting others but often struggle to show self love and appreciation of our own bodies. Photographer Shy Burhan and Poet Sharena Lee Satti came together to create an exhibition breaking this taboo and celebrating body confidence. Women from diverse backgrounds were invited to submit three words describing what they love about their bodies before being photographed by Shy. Sharena then wrote a beautiful poem called 'She is a goddess' inspired by those photographs.

Opening night was a sell out and it so lovely to see the women showing friends and family their photographs proudly hanging on the walls at Kala Sangram in Bradford. Shy ended up with 58 women, she originally asked for 52 to represent each week of the year but had such a positive response she didn't want to turn anyone down. I love that all the women were truly diverse and different, a true reflection on women in society today. Wouldn't it be great if those people who organise fashion and beauty advertising came to events like to see what true representation looks like.

There is something very moving about seeing women embracing their bodies coming together to celebrate. It's so important that we have creative people bringing projects like this to life to help break down body confidence issues and improve our mental wellbeing.

The exhibition will run until 3rd April and I'm looking forward to then buying my own art installation cylinder, it's going to become our new wine cooler and certainly a new topic of conversation!

The word joy sums up the art installations as part of the exhibition, the 58 women all look so different but so happy and free to express themselves. It was such fun shooting with Shy for this project, lots of movement and laughter.

I'll leave you with this beautiful poem "She is a goddess' written and performed by poet Sarena Lee Sattit. The opening night performance saw this poem accompanied by a beautiful dancer, it was a very moving moment.

What three words would you use to describe why you love your body?

Mine were.

Gratitude, Strength and Acceptance.

Rachel x

Published by Rachel Peru in Body Confidence

Tags: bekindtoyourbody, body confidence, bodypositive, confidence, embaceyourbody, inspiringwomen, selflove

January 29, 2020

The Vagina Museum

Curiosity called!

I'd heard about the new Vagina Museum in Camden over on the Naked Podcast before Christmas so knew I wanted to go check it out. Camden market is one of my favourite spots to lose a few hours alone in London but it is like a maze and I certainly raised a few eyebrows as I asked people if they knew where the museum was. So what is it about the word Vagina that still seems to cause some people embarrassment or fits of giggles?

The Vagina Museum is the world’s first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas, vulvas and the gynaecological anatomy. The project began in 2017 with pop ups across the county and opened its' doors in Camden in 2019.

Sex education

I don't know about you but sex education classes in the late 70's and early 80's was pretty limited. For starters, girls and boys were separated so there was no chance for open discussions between both sexes which I always thought was bizarre. It's certainly refreshing to have a much more healthy and open conversation about our bodies. The small museum has informative straight talking facts about the vagina and helps dispel some of those myths women are often led to believe. It certainly left me thinking about a few things. Like why women are made to feel unkempt if we don't have tidy trimmed public hair all the time? By the way, did anyone watch CH4's Bring Back The Bush it's worth a watch and reminded me how much women's bodies have been policed over the years.

I would definitely recommend any parents to take their children to the museum, I wish this kind of information was made available to schools nationwide as I am sure it would really help young girls with their body confidence and mental well being as they navigate there way through puberty. It's actually surprising that it has taken so long for a museum like this to open when you consider the Phallological museum in Iceland has been open for years.

The museum will be holding two exhibitions a year and is currently running the "Muff busters: Vagina myths and how to fight them".with lots of other events throughout the year. My favourite display has to be the giant tampon all its' bloody, glittery glory.

Could you name all your body parts around the vagina?

Connecting with our bodies in midlife

Since I have been peri-menopausal and now entering the menopause, I have become more aware of what's going on with my body in this area and it has to be said it's not much fun! Why doesn't anyone warn you about vaginal dryness (or as I've now learnt is officially called Vaginal atrophy) and the consequential links to cystitis and thrush during hormonal changes. Why is it still so hard to talk about as if it's something we should hide and not make a fuss about even at the age of 50? Apparently research shows more than 50% will suffer with this, although it is likely to be much higher as only 7-10% visit the doctor.

I think this museum is a great idea. If it gets people talking more openly and sharing our experiences about our own bodies then perhaps we will all become a little less hard on ourselves.

Maybe we need a Menopause museum in the world too!

''We have a vision of a world where no one is ashamed of their bodies, everyone has bodily autonomy and all of humanity works together to build a society that is free and equal.''