September 2, 2020

Liberte Free to Be with Susan Burrell.

I'm delighted to be joined by the inspiring American Author Susan Burrell. Susan is also a podcast host ‘Empowering Lives’, a presenter and guest speaker and is really helping people who are at a crossroads in life through her own intuitive healing.

After digging a bit deeper and reading more about Susan’s story, her journey really resonated with me and I'm sure lots of women will be able to gain some inspiration and relate to this one.

How do you describe yourself when you wear so many different hats?

I see myself as one of those carnival people of the last century with the poles and they're spinning plates and they're juggling. It's about creative freedom for me now in my later years. In my earlier years, I didn't think I was good enough or believe in myself. I was taught very carefully to not believe in myself in a very subterfuge clandestine way. As I got older, especially in the third chapter of my life, I really want to get out of that measurement of feeling less than and devalued and I did some very deep inner work.

Rachel I'm in the divine flow of life for the first time in my life and I had to work really hard to get into that flow of life. There’s days where I get sidetracked or I feel less than again, I mean, even though you do the work, it's an ongoing thing, right?

People think that once you get to this state of finding your way, of really finding the true self, that it's a done deal and you don't have to do any more work, but it's an ongoing journey.

Isn't it? Ongoing journey in this lifetime and probably many lifetimes, it's just an ongoing journey.

Life After Divorce

You’ve turned some really negative situations, emotions , feelings and gone through a similar experience to me with your divorce that really is life changing. How difficult did it get and how did you find your way out of it?

I've been on a spiritual quest since I was 17, 18 so I already had accumulated tons of skill sets. Working as a counsellor for 20 years with skill sets that I would use with my clients, I just used all of them on me.

I thought I had almost escaped the divorce debacle, you know, Oh, we've made 28 years and aren't we great. No!

All of a sudden, these women who had been divorced, came flooding into my life, you know, because if I'm not married, where's my tribe?

My girlfriends who were still married couldn't understand what I was going through.  I started hanging out with other divorced women and I noticed after a bottle and a half of wine later, they were still embittered after having been divorced 15 years ago. I'm like, I don't I want to be like that because I knew I had a second path in life.

I knew I wanted to live fully since it felt like my first half, I wasn't living my life as me. I was living my life in conjunction with someone, in partnership with someone. It was time to give Susan her turn and I think that happens a lot with women.

We give ourselves permission all of a sudden to really think about ourselves and what we want to achieve in life.

Divorce kind of kicks you out of the nest, right? It throws you out of that comfort zone, so for me I didn't realize it was happening until I actually chose to file.

What I mean by that is I kept trying to make it right and it wasn't ever going to be right. It probably wasn't right from the beginning of the marriage and I stayed 28 years, I was shattered. My understanding of who I was, was completely shattered, like shattered glass.

Different colours all over the floor. I felt like during the divorce, it was so contentious. I felt like I was crawling on my belly through that glass almost every day. After a while of feeling sorry for myself and running my story to friends and crying and sobbing and going through several box of Kleenex, I thought how do I want to come out of this?

I want to come out better than I've ever been in my life.

I am so surprised I'm saying this, Rachel, but the gift for me was to really dig deep into my spiritual practice again. Opening up that toolbox that I had and then applying it to myself. The gift really was the divorce because I came out loving and respecting myself more than I ever had. I came out respecting the work that I do, which I had always just kind of fluffed off. I gained the insight.

That’s the heart of what self-love is about, about accepting and loving yourself.

So many people don't know how to do that. We haven't been taught that at university or kindergarten, or we haven't necessarily even been taught that in our family of origin. I know I wasn't taught that. The good news is you get to make your life up however you want and if you want it to be a good, healthy, empowered, fun, creative life, you get to have that.

Facing Fear

How did you stop the fear from eating away at you and step into your new life?  I think so many women that I talk to have dreams and aspirations and they want to try and take those next steps forward but then the fear blocks and stops them from doing that.

That's a really good question. I think that was the gift of my divorce. I had been affirmed over and over that this is the work I'm supposed to do, not go be a sales clerk somewhere, or a waitress again. The fear showed up , Oh my gosh, where's my income, you know, but I began to learn that in order to come out whole loving myself more, I had to face the fear.

I attempt to do that now, when it comes up, I have to face it. Often times when you face that fear you can see that it's really just a small part of you that's trying to keep you safe. It's not a big bugaboo guy. It's a small little thing within you that's saying I'm scared. When you can recognize that, or when I do, then I can comfort it or say, well we're still going to do this anyway, but you're going to be okay. I do a lot of that kind of work in meditation or journaling.

I've just started doing that. I started writing a gratitude journal at the end of every day and I think it’s really made a difference. It has kept me grounded with in reality and given me a better understanding of what’s truly important to me in life.

A good journaling prompt you might ask yourself in the morning is what do I need to know today? I just do stream of consciousness writing. What do I need to know about my day to day and see what happens?

Live Your Empowered Life

You’ve now used all your experiences, your spiritual practice and your intuitive gift that brought you into the forefront to be able to help other people that are at the same crossroads in life. How has your work evolved into an inspiring book?

I had several clients and colleagues say, Oh, 'I can't wait to get your book. I'm going to read it'. I'm like, Oh, it's not a self-help read, you might get a gem but it's a let's go on this journey together and hunker down and do the inner work.

There's lots of affirmations in the book to work, I crafted it so you're going to begin on a gentle ride and then you're going to dive deep and then you're going to come up for air and then you're going to dive deep again.

Until you can get to a place where towards the end of the book, you get to rewrite your purpose in life and come out of the book with a real conscious purpose, which is a spiritual purpose.

I mostly work with women who have gone through divorce or are going through divorce and they really want to heal.

Most of my clients re reflect what I went through, they don't know themselves. I have a stellar client who said, I never knew that I had a choice about loving myself.

Feeling Lost in Midlife and Finding your Way Back

Why do you think we do lose ourselves in society? It does seem to be a common theme that women get to the forties and fifties and come to this point where they need to find themselves.

I'm praying and knowing that the current generation of women will not go through that, that they're going to know themselves sooner. I think what we're witnessing now in our generation is a closure of an old story, an old paradigm. The patriarchal that women should be seen and not heard, women stand behind their man, women stay at home, Or if you go out in the workplace, you come back and you do the laundry and cook the meals and clean up and put the kids to bed.

Inspiring women are the ones that are going to lead us into the light in and are the ones that are going to lead us into how the new way of living. I'm not saying men aren't going to be a part of it, but it's going to be awakened men, not men that continue to do the good old boy club thing, because it's dead and they're still beating it with a stick.

Women would hit midlife with society's description of how women are supposed to be in the world was complete. Get married. raise kids, maybe go to university, find a job, but now halfway through it's like, NO! and that's why women wake up and go holy moly, who am I? I'm tired of doing what everybody else tells me to do.

I had a yearning; I had a divine urge within me to be more than I was. I got battered mentally, emotionally, and energetically to wake up and stop with the old. I think a lot of women go through that.

That really resonates with me and that yearning for knowing that actually deep down inside you, there's something that was trying to get out, someone to be who you could be. It’s about finding your way through that.

Finding your way through is different for everyone, but I believe a consistent focus if you allow it. That focus is what we were talking about earlier, focusing on that divine urge, not what your head's telling you, but what your heart's telling you.

Allowing that to begin to inform you your wisdom within, because all the answers we are asking for reside right within us.

If you align with your higher self, if you align with the infinite then all your answers are right inside you. That's why journaling and meditating, silent meditation is so important because that's how you can hear.

Finding Inner Peace Through Meditation

Let’s talk about meditation. I know how good it could be for me, but I do struggle to switch my brain off. What tips can you recommend helping beginners learn to let go and meditate.

Meditation insight is a great ap. If you've never meditated, you can set it for five minutes. You don't have to worry about what else is happening and build up the amount of time you feel comfortable. What I encourage people is to start a meditation practice and start a journaling practice.

The journaling practice can happen right after your meditation, because then you're more open and you can write down insights. But what you also said, Rachel, starting a gratitude journal. That works a lot for people, especially if you're feeling a little down and out. Writing down the things you're grateful for is a very simple process to move you from despair or fear into love and light.

I have a guided meditation that I'd love to give them. It's called out of the box thinking and they can download it @susanburrell.com/free-gift-meditation

Self Love

My last question is if you could give yourself a compliment, what would it be? Women are notoriously bad at accepting compliments we always try to pass it off and push it aside or make a joke of it.

Wow, that's going to make me cry. I think I would. I, Oh, I can't even get the words out.

I would tell myself that I'm very proud of who I am now proud of the courage and the strength that I am and proud of the love and the value I bring. I'm very proud.

I'm sure you will agree Susan Burrell has really been inspiring and giving us all a lot to think about.

If you'd like to find out more, please go visit www.susanburrell.com.

You can listen to full audio interview here

#podcast #outofthebubble #inspiringwomen #divorce #sharingstories #conversations #confidence

 

July 8, 2020

Beach Body Ready – Have a body and head to the beach!

Beach Body Ready, it's really very simple, have a body then lets head to the beach!

My tips on how to be body confident this Summer as I share some of my favourite swimwear 2020.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has spotted the dreaded "How to get a beach body" articles shortly after travelling was given the green light again this Summer.

Marketing companies and the media should receive an award for piling unrealistic pressure on women as they plan their summer wardrobe and beach attire, especially when they hit over 40. The majority of the swimwear images I see are so unrelatable; I realise I didn't look close to them in my twenties so at 50 I don't stand a chance!

When it comes to choosing swimwear, all I can tell you is ditch the rules and wear what makes YOU feel good and to hell with what anyone else thinks. If you're a swimsuit woman that's great, if you prefer to wear a two piece that's fabulous too, there is no right way, what ever makes you have the most body confidence. I've heard so many women share opinions on both and it's time we stopped judging one another. I love wearing bikinis because they make me feel free but I totally understand other women feel better in a one piece.

Here are some of my favourite swimwear for 2020 to give you a bit of inspiration.

I've recently discovered the WeAreWeWear brand and I really love their collection. This Bright Pink bikini is reversible so Pink or Red depending on your mood; you could also mix the tops and bottoms. I love a high waisted bottom and the drawstrings give you control on how you wear them. I'm a 34G and went for a Large which fits well and feels secure with the halter neck. This set is in the sale too so a bargain at £31 for the set.(https://wearewewear.com/products/long-line-reversible-red-bikini-top)

If you've never looked at the Figleaves website I can highly recommend you do as they have a really great collection of stylish one pieces and bikinis to fit a wide range of sizes.

How pretty is this Toulouse curve tummy control swimsuit! I love the ladder detail across the waist which helps create a gorgeous waistline for curves. £45

(https://www.figleaves.com/uk/figleaves-toulouse-mindful-curve-non-wired-plunge-ladder-tummy-control-swimsuit/FIG-013954.html?dwvar_FIG-013954_color=755160&cgid=newarrival#start=15)

I also love this Paradise Island swimsuit as the straps are detachable so great for avoiding tan lines and would look great worn as body underneath a jacket and jeans later in the evening. I'm all for multi tasking my wardrobe. £55

(https://www.figleaves.com/uk/figleaves-paradise-island-underwired-bandeau-tummy-control-swimsuit-b-g/FIG-013546.html?dwvar_FIG-013546_color=754485&cgid=swimwear-swimsuits#start=12)

I don't think you can go wrong when you shop at Bravissimo if you're a larger busted lady. I've shopped with this brand for the last ten years and they've never let me down when it comes to choice. This asymmetric swimsuit from their St.Tropez collection really caught my eye, I think its a really stylish look. £58

(https://www.bravissimo.com/products/st-tropez-swimsuit-sw560/#tealnavy-sw560tvy)

Tankinis can be a great option too and I absolutely love this electric Blue Santa Monica set from Pour Moi, don't be afraid to be stand out and own your spot on that beach.

The ruching on this set is so flattering and again a swimsuit that would look great with a maxi skirt in the evening. £49

It's about trying different style until you find your own body confidence.

(https://www.pourmoi.co.uk/products/santa-monica-removable-straps-non-wired-tankini/?styleid=69272)

I've tried and tested several of Pour Moi bikinis in the last few years and find them to be a great fit on the bust making bigger busted women feel nice and secure. The set below is from 2019.

2019 Pour Moi set, photographed by Laura Adams.

My personal favourite for 2020 is MissesBrie's collection, I am going to have to wait for the sales but there are some eye catching pieces in this fabulous collection. I'm a huge fan of the Sports Illustrated swimwear model Brielle Anyea and have watched her career blossom so I wasn't surprised that her swimwear collection is as stunning as she is. Briella is also another great model who is full of body confidence.

The colours and the style of this Baddie bikini is stunning but at £81 I'll have to keep it on my wish list.

Don't be afraid to look on social media at what other women are wearing though as there's so many smaller labels out there that you would otherwise miss.

(https://missesbrie.com/collections/new-arrivals/products/baddie-bikini)

What ever you wear , enjoy your Summer and hold your head up high.

Repeat after me...

"I AM GORGEOUS
I AM BEAUTIFUL
MY BODY IS MY FRIEND
I'M GOING TO ENJOY MY SUMMER"

June 12, 2020

Liberte Free to Be with Melissa Tolago, founder of the Walking group Glamoraks

As many of us have turned to daily walks during lockdown I thought you might like to hear how previous Liberte Free to Be guest Melissa Tolago found her new passion and purpose through walking.

Where did your love for walking begin, how long have you been walking as a sport/hobby before starting Glamoraks?

Not that long, I used to walk but when my kids were little it was more of a lesson of how many Haribo’s could i give out at any point to try and encourage them to walk! So I had a weekend free, I think it was about 2015, and my kids and husband were away. I thought you know what instead of going to a spa I’m going to go to a hiking shop, buy some boots, a backpack, waterproof jacket and I’m going to walk a stretch of the North Yorkshire coast. I was very excited about my plan and the forecast was for horizontal wind and rain with amber warnings, but I thought well I don't care I’m going to do it anyway. So I did, I had this clifftop path to myself, not another soul, no one else was stupid enough to go out in the weather! I stayed in a hostel overnight, in a shared room, which I hadn't done for years and years, then the next day I walked back again. I just absolutely loved it, it made me feel completely alive, I just thought this is incredible, I want to do more of it! So I started to do more walking with my friends, and it just became slightly more of a regular occurrence.

Having that sense of freedom must of been liberating, especially whilst having young children?

Yeah, so they were sort of ‘tweens’ at this stage and just at that point where they really weren't too fussed about doing anything with me, at all! So I’d done a lot of dragging them out to historic homes, that kind of thing and they were kind of over it. I thought well I can go and do something for me now, and I did; it was just such a brilliant, liberating experience that I just wanted to do it more and more. I didn't have any designs to become a keen, ardent hiker or take on incredible challenges, I just wanted to get out walking more.

How did you fit that in because you’re a busy lady, you're running your own PR business, mum of two children, how did you start fitting in longer walks at weekends?

I just put it in the diary, so I’d say to my husband, ‘right I’m going to go away this weekend, can you be here for the kids’. He worked away from home a lot so he was quite happy to come back and just stay at home, while I was desperate, because I work at home, to get out of the house. So I went off, I would just put it into the calendar. It was easier because I work for myself, I had the flexibility.

What tips could you give to other women to learn to take the time out?

If you can get someone to go with you it’s far more difficult to pull out then. I love walking on my own, there’s a real sense of liberation and it's slightly more adventurous when you go off on your own. I know a lot of women don't actually like walking on their own, they find it either scary or lonely, and I don't find it either of those things. But, when you have someone else to walk with, it gives you company it makes it slightly more fun. It also makes you stick to your plan, you can’t suddenly go ‘oh I don’t want to go anymore’ because you’ll be letting that person down. So if you can find someone to go with, all the better.

So you started walking with friends, and then from what I’ve read you didn't just do short walks, you gradually built up to some really quite epic walks across the UK, so what was the first long distance that you did?

The first one I did was the coast to coast, and that is 192 miles, and I got the idea for that after reading a book called ‘Wild’ by Cheryl Strayed. It was a story about a woman who had a fairly rubbish life and decided she was going to walk the Pacific Crest trail, which is a really really long way in America, all on her own, and it just to me sounded like the most amazing adventure.

So I bought the Coast to Coast book, took a photograph of the book, put it on Facebook saying ‘does anyone want to do this with me’, and my cousin who lived in South Africa said ‘I’ll come’. So she flew over, and we decided to walk it together! We had no idea what we were doing but it was brilliant.

A lot of people would say ‘ok we’ve achieved that, that’s fantastic’ and kind of leave it at that, you went on to then climbing Kilimanjaro which is on my bucket list of things to do, What was the of inspiration to do that, had you always wanted to do it?

No, it hadn't even been on my radar! So my friend fell of her horse a few years ago, she broke her neck, and she survived. But she was rescued by an air ambulance, and her local air ambulance was doing this climb Kilimanjaro fundraiser so she wanted to do something to give back.

Another friend of ours was turning 50 and she wanted to do something to celebrate her 50th so they said do you want to come with me and I couldn't think of a good reason why not! I just said sure, and just did it!

It was a challenge to get the training done because I live in York and the surrounding area is flat and I needed hills. I looked like a complete idiot, I used to go to Sutton Bank the one and only hill near me and I used to hike with a full pack on my back, I used to have a mask that I put over my face that restricts your oxygen flow so that you can get used to walking in high altitude. People would be out for their day stroll and there was me puffing my way through this oxygen mask! But it was the most incredible experience. I loved every minute of Kilimanjaro except for probably the last half an hour on summit day which was supremely challenging, but really worth it.

What did you learn about yourself doing that, I would imagine there is lots of soul searching during such a big challenge?

I learnt that if you keep a positive mental attitude, you can do anything. The minute you start doubting yourself, you will fail, and it is as simple as that. I’ve been riddled with lack of self-belief and low self-esteem for probably most of my life, but I decided on this that I was going to do it, I was going to get to the top, and there not for one second going to be a thing where I thought I can’t do this.

We were in a big group of 25, and quite early on there were people who started moaning, ‘ah I’m tired’, ‘I feel sick’, ‘I’m really feeling the altitude’, and they funnily enough didn't make it. Every time I felt the symptoms of altitude sickness and sort of breathlessness or anything like that, I just told myself this is your body’s natural response to it, it’s normal, you just keep on going and you’ll get there, you'll be fine. It made the world of difference! I didn’t have really any severe symptoms, I got there, it was absolutely brutal and exhausting but I did it. I think that's what I learnt, that if you focus on the positive you can do it.

Do you think that experience has changed your whole outlook and your self confidence?

I think it has, and it wasn't that I set out with that intention, I just came back thinking ‘of course I can do that’, and you know people saying ‘oh my goodness you climbed Kilimanjaro’ but really it wasn't that big a deal. It was hard, but it felt like yeah something that you can go and do.

I think my whole thing with setting up Glamoraks was to try and help other women realise that just because you’ve been doing whatever it is you’ve been doing, for however many years, whether it’s a career, or being as stay-at-home mum or raising kids, or looking after elderly parents, or whatever it is, you get stuck into a rut and you get shoe-horned into this way of thinking that you can’t challenge yourself. For some people going for a walk is the challenge, for others going for a walk with someone they don't know is the challenge, for someone else it’s going for a multi-day walk is the challenge, for someone else it’s wild camping. It doesn’t matter what the thing is, if it’s pushing you out of your comfort zone then its a challenge and all I would say is start small and keep on going.

I can completely relate to that because the women I’ve been talking to on the podcast have all said the same thing. It’s taking that one step to do something small and then you just build on it don't you, which is what you’ve obviously done through your walking, you’ve been building slowly the momentum of everything you’ve been doing to this point of then getting the idea of Glamoraks.

Yes exactly. Glamoraks happened by accident, it wasn’t something that I’d planned. I sound like a complete crazy woman that just lets life happened to her! But I didn’t plan it, because my background was in public relations, I saw a press opportunity that said ‘I’d like to talk to women about walking’. So I put myself forward saying ‘yeah I walk regularly’, and they wanted to interview me, they were going to do a big double page spread on me about all the walking that I did.

With my PR hat on I thought I can’t waste this PR opportunity, it’s ridiculous, its just mad. I had been thinking for a while that it would be great to have some kind of community that got more women out walking, because the Glamoraks, the original Glamoraks, were my friends, the mums at the school gate, and the reason the name is Glamoraks is because they're not your typical hikers. They were quite glamorous women, business women, we go out for cocktails and I see them all dressed up. I got them into hiking gear and I just gave them a nickname, I said you're wearing anoraks but you're really Glamoraks.

I thought well if l’m getting these women out, and we’re all having a great time, what if i just extended it and said who else wants to go out walking? That’s when I set it up, purely off the back of having a press opportunity. I had no plan for it, nothing really, it just sort of happened.

Have you been surprised by the positive response you've had to it?

Yes it's been quite overwhelming. I started in 2017, it started as a Facebook group originally and I encouraged people to share pictures of where they went walking and if they wanted to find people to go walking with. I found that people were having a hard time finding other people near them because Facebook didn't allow them to search. So I did some research and I thought well I’ll create an app, but it was going to cost me £60,000, and I was like funnily enough I don't have £60,000! So I found a company that you can use that enables communities to find other people near them, I moved people off the Facebook group onto to this new platform. You can use the Glamoraks app, search for members near by and it’ll show you who’s near you so you can connect with people with similar interests.

If you're a beginner walker you can find other beginner walkers near you, or if your a complete adventure seeker you can find people like that. The whole aim of it is purely to encourage people to set up their own walks, it’s not like a ‘on this day we’re going to be having a walk from this location’, it’s more ‘hey guys I’m going to go walking in the North Yorkshire moors this weekend, is anyone free to join me?’

What has been incredible is the number of people who join and they all say the same thing, they say ‘I want to go walking but I haven't got anyone to go with’, or ‘none of my other friends are interested’, or ‘my husband doesn't want to’, or ‘I’ve moved to a new area and I don't know anyone and I just feel as though I want to try something new’, or ‘I want to get fit’. It’s the same kind of messages that come up time and time again, and it’s just fantastic for me to see that it is around the world. It started in the UK, that’s obviously where it is largely based because I’m based here, but there are people in America , New Zealand, Hong Kong, South Africa and all over, and I would love to get those communities growing.

What’s the average age of the women?

I would say mid 40’s is the average age, but there is no age limit anyone can join. There are other groups that are aimed at younger, sort of 20 and 30 somethings that are slightly freer, ‘The Ramblers is an organisation , I know that they're changing, but they typically have an older demographic, whereas this is just the bit in the middle.

Which is actually the age group that I think often gets left behind, that kind of middle age group, so it’s refreshing to have this kind of group together working, I think it’s fantastic. Quite a lot of women I think would relate to this more because people are scared of starting a new exercise like going to a gym or throwing themselves into a swimming pool, whereas walking is a bit more relatable isn’t it, it’s an easier thing to start. What kind of equipment do you recommend people, if they want to go out walking tomorrow, what are the basics that they need?

If they’re going to be walking in an urban environment, or just in their local park or something like that, honestly just a pair of trainers and warm layers basically, and a waterproof jacket is probably all you’ll need.

If you’re going to go and do more of the beaten track type of walks, any of the national trails or country footpaths things like that, you’re probably going to need a good pair of boots. You can start with something reasonably affordable if you just want to give it try and you’re not sure if you're going to commit to it. It’s funny, people think that walking is a very cheap, free kind of exercise, and it is, but once you start looking at the gear you can get quite carried away. But honestly a pair of boots, ideally waterproof, because in this country it’s wet and muddy. If you want some basics, I mean a pair of either leggings, like warmer leggings for winter, or some walking trousers. You can get waterproof outers if you're likely to go out in the rain, if you're going to be a fair weather walker then its not necessary.

A little backpack, again doesn’t have to be big or expensive, but just something you can just carry your lunch in and a nice wooly hat. Ideally if you’re going to go out somewhere, that you haven't been before and it’s not an obvious way marked path, then you should take an ordnance survey map with you, or go with someone who knows where they're going.

See that’s the thing that puts me off, because I love walking, I’ve got a dog I walk everyday. But on longer walks, my sense of navigation is absolutely useless! Am i right in thinking that at Glamoraks also hold events where people can go and learn a bit more about that?

Yes, I team up with a bunch of different walking groups and companies and one of them is a chap in the Yorkshire Dales and he runs navigation courses. I did his straight to silver course, where they teach you first of all how to read a map, and how to get more advanced and actually read the land so you can look for valleys and dips and things and figure out where you are. I’m still no expert but it does give you a little sense of confidence.

But I don't want people to get put off, and think well I cant read a map so I’m not gonna go walking. Honestly, there are so many walks that you can do that you can just Google and download. The other thing you can invest in for anyone who wants to go walking more is, ordinance survey have got an amazing app and you can just put it on your phone, plot your route before you go, and as you're walking it'll tell you if you're going off track.

Wow that’s clever, I like the sound of that, I could manage that I think! Where does your drive come from, because you’re already running a successful business and a family home, and now you've got Glamoraks to contend with. Where does your inner drive come from because it’s a lot of work isn't it?

I think I’m just one of those people who doesn't like to sit still, I mean right now actually I'm in the process of separating from my husband, I’m selling my house, buying my new house. I have got a job and I’m moving back into full time employment, so I’m giving up my normal marketing business but I’m keeping Glamoraks going, so it is a juggling act you know, I’m doing all of it at the same time.

We’re coming towards the end of the year now and if I look back over the course of the year, if I look through my photo scroll, I wanna have a look and see lots of things that I've done, places that I’ve visited, and places that I’ve walked. If I look back at my year and I haven't done anything I feel like it's a waste. I suppose the drive comes from wanting to make sure that every year I'm making the most of it and packing it full of things that will make a really good story at the end of the day, rather than another day in front of Netflix.

What would you go back and tell your younger self?

I would say dump that idiot boyfriend when you were in your early 20’s, and go on a massive gap year and do a lot more of this adventuring because you're so much more capable than you think you are. Honestly, it’s taken me years and years and years to realise that I can go and do this.

I mean, it first started when I was 36 and my son’s were 3 and 5 and I decided on the spur of the moment that I’d had enough of doing the laundry and I signed up to do the clip around the world yacht race and I sailed from Hull to Rio, for 6 weeks, 18 strangers on a boat and I think that was the thing that gave me my kickstart, I thought I can do this, I can do what I want.

You don't know what will come from everything that you do, you don't know what it leads to. By trying something different, you might find that you get talking to somebody on a walk that wants to go off and do a slightly different adventure or a wild camp out and then you find yourself with a different group of women. I can imagine it opens up a whole free world really for women.

It does, but also more than anything it puts your life in perspective. I have never been on a walk with Glamoraks where I haven't been absolutely kind of jaw on the floor astounded at some of the life stories that I hear, you know the things that they're going through, the challenges they've faced, what they're doing, how they're feeling.

It just sort of puts your own life into perspective, and you go ‘oh gosh I’ve actually got it really easy compared to what a lot of people have’, and it’s so humbling to hear their stories and so interesting to hear their stories, I leave with a sense of being connected like we’re all in this together.

That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to set the podcast up, women supporting each other and hearing from lots of different women doing different achievements, it’s inspiring and it really helps motivate me. What advice could you offer to women who might have an idea in their head but might be lacking in confidence to take that first step to get it going, in business or a plan in life?

Just do it. Honestly, say yes and figure out the details later, that’s the only thing I can say. You don't have to know how to do everything, I didn’t know how to sail across an ocean and I didn’t know how to climb a mountain and I didn’t know how to set up a business and I didn’t know how to set up a global community for women who walk. I still don't even know how to read a map properly, but it doesn't matter. It’s just about the start, and you can figure it out, and be honest with whoever you're doing it with, that you don't know everything but you're there to try and learn and people can’t argue with that really.

Last three questions, what song or piece of music motivates you?

Well, it’s probably not an uplifting piece of music, but the piece of music that really makes me feel like heart bursting is Elgar’s ‘Nimrod’, classical piece of music and I’ve always loved it. When I was climbing Kilimanjaro, I was walking along on my own and battling with lack of oxygen and I looked up and as I looked up the clouds cleared and the peak moved into view and at the same time that song came onto my headphones and it was just the most awe-inspiring incredible moment.

I thought wow I’m actually here, I’m actually doing this, and the music is just so soaring that it lifts me up. So now whenever I’m in a beautiful place and I need a pick me up that’s my go to piece.

What about a book that inspires you? I know you’ve mentioned ‘Wild’, is that one of them?

That was definitely the book that got me started, that got me into the walking bug and tapped into my sense of adventure, so I would definitely have that one on my list. There’s another one right now called ‘Roar’ by Cecilia Ahern, and it’s a collection of 50 short stories about women and finding their inner strength, and that’s a really good book as well.

Who inspires you?

There’s no one person I don’t think but anyone who’s prepared to just try things. Some of the mums who were at my kids school, who were in their 40’s and 50’s, rowed across the Atlantic 2 years ago, and they didn’t know what they were doing and they had every reason to say no, but they said yes and did it anyway. So I think anybody who is prepared to just say yes ok i'll give that a try and it doesn't have to be rowing the Atlantic or climbing Everest it can just be something that is a challenge for them and their prepared to give it a go. I think that's inspiring.

You can listen to the full podcast interview which took place in 2018 here -

Visit www.glamoraks.com for more information and you can find Melissa on Instagram @glamoraks and Twitter @melissatolago

Keep being fabulous x

June 10, 2020

The Impact of Lockdown Life On Body Confidence

How to love your body during lockdown.

I hope everyone has been surviving lockdown and managing to keep well. I am sure I’m not the only that has found this experience to be a real rollercoaster of emotions but what I hadn’t anticipated was the effect it would have on my body confidence.

In normal circumstances I consider myself to be very body confident, it’s something I’ve worked hard on and I guess it’s become part of my personal branding. I’ve modelled swimwear with Ashely Graham and represented older women in several lingerie campaigns, so I’d like to think I had the body confidence issue covered!

During the first few weeks I found myself joining every online exercise class that was thrown at me, some of which I really enjoyed, others began to feel like a chore. After a few weeks, life settled into a new normal routine and I’ve thrown myself into working on projects and recording Liberte Free to Be podcasts, so I've had less time available. That’s when the guilt set in, I started feeling bad about myself because I wasn’t doing as much exercise or healthy living as friends and others on social media seemed to be. The saying “Comparison is the thief of joy’ is so true and this was another reminder of that.

I’ve continued to shoot from home and recently completed my first paid home shoot since lockdown began, for a lingerie brand. Whilst I am really happy with the final images it took much longer to shoot as I found myself being super critical and really harsh about my body and the fact that I’d put a few pounds on. For the first time in years I even weighed myself. In normal circumstances I wouldn’t have stressed about this but during lockdown it’s caught me off guard and I admit to having a small meltdown about it. I quickly remembered it's ok not to love your body every single day but you have to accept it, that's much more manageable and realistic.

I am happy to say this blip didn’t last long and I managed to get myself out of those negative thoughts, but it did stop me in my tracks and make me analyse why I reacted this way.

We have been bombarded by social media posts and advertising selling exercise classes and telling us that we should be all improving our lives during lockdown. How many times have you heard someone tell you’ve they’re learning a new language or attending every yoga class they can find? Whilst all this self-improvement is amazing if that is right for you how about those people that are just trying to survive and get through each day in their own way. There is no right or wrong way. Add this to the glib remarks added to articles and posts about weight gain it’s no wonder peoples' body confidence can be knocked.

Here are some tips that have helped me.

Unfollow/Mute accounts that have made you feel negative about yourself. Social media can be such a positive place if you carefully curate it to suit you and can be changed depending on your own state of mind.

If you are wanting to be more active, make sure you do the activities that you genuinely enjoy. I’ve started dance classes with The School of Strutt which I love and it doesn’t feel like exercise.

Don’t be camera shy. Start taking selfies and really look at yourself. Look at your face and recognise the person looking back at you. I found this really therapeutic and it was like reuniting with a stranger. It makes you stop and remember who you are and what you’ve achieved to get to this point, it helps put life and body insecurities into perspective.

Start a gratitude diary. I’ve used this lots of times over the years and began it again during lockdown, it helps remind you of all the positive, often small things each day to be grateful for.

Start the day thinking of one thing that you like about your body and make it your daily mantra, one of mine is ‘I love my smile’ other examples could be “I love how strong my legs feel’ or “I love the colour of my eyes’.

Keep repeating it to yourself throughout the day and you will be surprised how quickly it can make a positive difference. Once it becomes a routine you can then add more body parts and keep adding to your list.

Lastly, be kind to yourself and accept that your body is a vessel that has carried you through so many different experiences in life and is always there for you, so it deserves your love. We don't have to love our bodies every single moment of the day but body acceptance is much more important and realistic. Once we gain acceptance it frees up space in our minds to get on with life and keeps everything in perspective.

Keep being fabulous x

 

 

March 29, 2020

Top 10 Podcasts by Inspiring Women

How’s everyone coping with being at home? I’m trying to keep busy and plan each day with some structure to help keep me motivated. I’m a huge fan of listening to podcasts and now is the perfect time to catch up on some of those missed episodes. There are so many podcasts out there now and I’m glad to see so many female content creators.

I can guarantee there will be a podcast covering almost every subject you can think of, from finances, death and divorce to love and fashion, detective and thriller stories to gardening and cooking. I think there’s something special when women come together and have a good chat; quite often, listening to another womens’ story or experience can make such a difference to your day and leave you feeling inspired.

Here are some of my favourite podcasts to keep you going and hopefully help fill the odd hour or two each day.

Get ready to start downloading now!

How to Fail

Elizabeth Day switches things up a bit by celebrating the things that haven’t gone right. Weekly podcast where guests explore how their failures taught them how to succeed better. Famous guests share their failures candidly and you will be surprised to see how many of them you can relate to.

Conversations of Inspiration

I’ve only recently discovered this podcast with Notonthehighstreet and Holly & Co founder Holly Tucker, I have binge listened so many episodes. Holly really is a woman to be admired after spending the last 15 years building small businesses and helping empower so many others across the UK.

Conversations of Inspiration sees Holly invite founders of small businesses to share the highs and lows they’ve encountered whilst building their business.

Hashtag Authentic

Sara Tasker’s podcast was the very first one I listened to and I’ve been hooked ever since. If you are a creative person this is the podcast for you. Hashtag Authentic is a weekly podcast exploring the secrets to online success for dreamers, makers and creatives. With practical tips and inspiring stories that will leave any small businesses, bloggers and online creatives feeling inspired.

The Capsule

Keeping it local with the lovely Leeds based actress and presenter Natalie Anderson who has built a successful lifestyle brand called The Capsule and has now launched her own podcast to talk all things Fashion, Beauty, Business and Wellbeing.

Natalie is joined weekly by The Capsule editorial team Fashion Editor Anna Mewes and Travel Industry Expert Lyndsey Thomas. Series one has just finished, and I thoroughly enjoyed listened to the variety of guests.

Happy Place

I’ve always been a fan of Fearne Cotton and I’ve loved watching her career change direction.

Fearne is not one to shy away from any subject as her guests talk honestly about their lives, love, loss, and everything in-between as she reveals what happiness means to them.

In The Dark

If you love serial investigative journalism, then this American APM podcast hosted by Madeleine Brown and a team of reporters will get you hooked.

Investigating murders, kidnapping, following trial and re-examining evidence is fascinating.

I’m Absolutely Fine

If you’re not familiar with these two ladies who formed The Midult then I definitely recommend you look them up. Annabel Rivkin and Emilie McMeekan founded The Midult back in 2016 and provided a refreshing change to what’s been put out there for grown up women and really celebrate the power and potential of women. The podcast looks into the glamour along with the indignity of being a grown up.

The Naked Podcast

I recently had the pleasure of joining BBC Radio Sheffield hosts Jenny Eells and Kat Harbourne for their latest Naked Podcast series and it’s a brilliant idea. Hosts and guests strip off and enjoy honest and topical conversation; it’s surprising how liberating it feels!

Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations

Oprah’s podcast is a firm favourite of mine. Full of insight, food for thought, clarity and inspiration. At a time like our current one I think this is the perfect podcast to help you keep grounded, sane and calmer.

Out Of The Bubble

I hope I can be forgiven for including my own podcast in this list as it’s something I’m very proud of and am enjoying the opportunity to share some amazing women’s stories. Women who have re-invented themselves in later life, overcome hurdles, changed directions share their journey and leave you with inspiration and motivation.

Start downloading now!

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

March 26, 2020

My favourite skincare products- Beauty after 40

I am often asked about what products I use on my face so I thought I'd share some current favourites with you. I am lucky to have inherited my Mum's good skin and when I was younger I confess to not really having a proper beauty routine, although I have always made sure to take my make up off each night. In the last few years I realised I needed to step up my skin care routine and I am definitely feeling like I want to use more natural beauty products on my skin.

I was kindly gifted some Clockhouse Beauty products to try and have really been impressed; I've noticed a real difference in my skin. Clockhouse beauty is a Yorkshire based company set up by a mother and daughter to provide 100% natural, organic, cruelty free and vegan products. I think there is a real shift in demand for natural products and they have a good range for men too.

I've been using the Signature Cleansing Balm alongside the Signature Facial Serum and my skin feels really soft and looks healthier. I banned myself from resorting to make up wipes after so many make up artists told me how damaging and drying they are so I'm a big fan of cleansers that you remove with a muslin cloth and warm water. The Cleansing balm has a lovely scent of Eucalyptus and Chamomille and is packed with natural ingredients such as the anti-inflammatory Tamuni and Watermelon oils. A little goes along way so the balm turns into oil on your face quickly and dissolves the make up and dirt.

I'm also using the award wining Signature Facial Serum morning and night, using a few drops on my palms and gently massaging on to my face and neck. I've not used oil serums regularly before so I wasn't sure show my skin would react but it absorbs well and leaves my skin feeling really soft.

 

My other long term favourites are No.7 Lift & Luminate range. I've used them for a few years now, they are aimed at 45-60 year old women and really suit my skin and at £25, is more of an affordable price.

 

I once had the pleasure of testing some Augustinus Bader face creams and I have to say they were my absolute favourite and if it wasn't for the hefty £205 price tag they would be my go to product as my skin has never looked fresher, healthier and at it's best.

I recently found this old Vogue body & Beauty Book from 1978 and I remember spending hours with my older sister reading this book and trying out the natural beauty recipes. Considering we might be in lockdown for sometime and as I have already run out of face scrub I thought I might try and make some of my own.

Fast forward to 2020 and Liz Earle has some great suggestions using products that you're most likely to have in your cupboards, visit www.lizearlewellbeing.com for more homemade recipe inspiration.

I've started making Liz Earle's Zesty Lemon Skin Brightener.

Ingredients:

30g/3 Dessertspoonfuls Ground Almonds

20g of Fine Oatmeal

Zest of 1 Unwaxed Lemon and

8 tbsp Runny Honey

The bonus of this mix is it's also yummy mixed with yogurt with any leftovers!

Liz Earle's Homemade Facemask

Ingredients:

1 Tbsp Finely ground oatmeal (I used a pestle & mortar to grind them finer)

1 TBSP Live Plain yogurt

1/2 Apple finely grated

2 Tsp Fresh Lemon Juice

I'd actually forgotten how nice it feels to make your own products and it's been a pleasant edition to my first week of lockdown. I love using Garniers Moisture Tissue Mask and always use the night before a shoot.

It all helps!

Lastly I do drink lots of water and I am sure that plays a major part in healthy looking skin.

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

 

 

 

March 19, 2020

How to find your confidence

The missing link by Lou Kirby @WomanReadyblog

Confidence is a funny thing, don’t you find? Sometimes you can feel positive, happy, fulfilled, unstoppable, calm, attractive. Other days, the total opposite; unworthy, self-critical, anxious, ugly, not good-enough.

Lack of confidence is something that affects many women. It’s estimated that 60% suffer from imposter syndrome at some point in their life. Imposter syndrome, if you’ve not heard of it, is that feeling that someone will find you out to be a ‘fraud’, that you don’t deserve the success you’ve achieved.

My own confidence has been up and down. It took a particular ‘beating’ after I had my children and returned to work. I remember thinking, who am I and what am I doing? It was totally unsettling and made me doubt who I was. This feeling stayed with me for a long time and I really battled with it.

Quietly Confident

My kids are older now; my eldest is a teenager and I’ve found myself to be, what I would call, quietly confident. I’m comfy in my skin. I like who I am. I know what I like and don’t like, who I’m happy to give my precious time to and I don’t feel that I need to ‘impress’ people like I did in my earlier years. And that’s a nice place to be.

So, between the ‘who am I’ and the ‘comfy in my skin’ stage, a few things happened. I got to the point though where I thought there had to be a better way of being, of living. I decided I wanted to do something about it. If I was privileged enough to be here in another 20/30/40 years, then I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t my biggest critic!

So, I started talking to lots of other women. It became clear, that many of us were suffering from lack of confidence in some part of our lives – be it work, relationships, social life or how we felt about our bodies. There was that general belief that we weren’t quite good-enough!

What Would You Have Done In Your Life, With More Confidence?

One of my favourite questions to ask them was, ‘what would you have done in your life, with more confidence?’ The answers I heard weren’t around achieving really big goals – the climbing Mount Everest type goals – for example – but examples of everyday events.

Here’s what they said.

  • Applied for jobs that I thought were beyond my reach.
  • Stopped worrying so much about events, circumstance, people’s opinions of me.
  • Done more public speaking.
  • The amount of time spent in advance preparing for a confrontation or situation would have been minimised.
  • Learnt to drive earlier.
  • Asked for a pay rise and asked more often.
  • Enjoyed meeting people.
  • Less influenced by others.
  • Ended relationships sooner.
  • Worn different clothes and be more comfortable with my body.

This is a really interesting question to ask yourself. Have a think about what your answer would be.

As a result of the above, I wanted to help other women feel more positive about who they were and I set up womanready.com & re-trained as a coach – more in the Bio.

The Inner Critic

Whatever our age, it seems that our inner critic, is forever present, holding us back and chastising us. One of my biggest fears was regret; regret that I’ll would reach a certain age and realise that I hadn’t lived a full life because of this inner voice. Not because of someone else but because of ME!

It’s Time To Stop! Confidence is something that you have to work on. I know you probably don’t want to hear that though! There is no magic pill that will transform you into an assertive, confident woman. You need to be willing to put some work in to fan those flames of self-confidence again.

At various stages of our lives, we can easily slip into the comfort zone trap. I’ve seen it happen so many times and it’s so easy to do. When we get comfortable with our life (which can be lovely, right!), we tend to not push ourselves; we tend to stick with what we know. And then our desire to try something new (something that we may have done without hesitation a few years ago) dwindles. And then this cycle repeats itself.

Take Action

Action = confidence. You have to start doing things; things that you are a little nervous of. And if you’re a little scared, so what? Recognise the emotion and then do it (feel the fear and do it scared). You are so much more than you think you are.

Start taking those little steps forward. And you’ll find that those little, positive steps, all mount up to something bigger.

I read this somewhere (sorry I can’t remember the source) – “One day you’ll wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now.”

Bio

Lou is founder of Woman Ready (womanready.com) which is an online platform helping women to recognise their potential, embrace who they are (as they are) and believe in themselves more. She is also a qualified professional coach helping women to live happier, more content lives.

If you'd like the opportunity to win an online place on the

WomanReady "30 Days to Happier You" worth £39, pop over to my Instagram to enter. Make sure you're following Lou and I on instagram and tag a friend who you think would like this too.

The winner will be randomly chosen on Friday 27th March 9am. Good luck!

(Per instagram rules, this promotion is in no way sponsored, administered or associated with Instagram inc.)

Keep being fabulous!
Rachel x

March 18, 2020

Have you heard about Cabi Clothing?

I thought I was pretty good at knowing what's out there in the fashion industry so I was quite surprised I'd never heard of Cabi clothing before now.

Am I the only one that this has passed by? I first heard about them through my lovely friend and co-organiser of the Silver & Sassy York fashion Week event, Annie Stirk.

Annie organised independent Cabi stylist Deborah Richardson to include Cabi clothing in our fashion show; we spent a fabulous morning looking at the Spring Collection and I was really impressed.

Annie and I are obviously gutted to have to postpone our event due to Coronavirus but it was the right decision and we are already making plans to be back when the time is right even sassier than before!

Cabi is an American clothing brand, founded in 2002 by Carol Anderson and Kimberly Inskeep (who I've now added to my podcast guest wish list), alongside 10 other co-founders. Cabi have made huge waves in the American fashion industry with sales now reported at £200m a year, this is a serious brand that has now moved in to the UK market.

I loved hearing the story behind the idea, born from women feeling unfulfilled with their working lives and bored with their wardrobes. They set out to create a direct home selling fashion brand; you need to get the 1970's Tupperware party image out of your head right now! They've certainly proved there's a market for it.

Think of it as a styling party with friends, a chance to try new looks without the confinements of a shop changing room with poor lighting.The stylist sets up the seasons' collection, showcases individual pieces and gives styling tips and advice along the way. The fun part comes when you get to play dress up and try the clothes on. It seems like in a world where we are all craving that connectivity and personal touch this is a brand with great timing.

It's a huge success in America and had been in the UK for three and a half years now. What impressed me most was the quality of the clothes, the material and the cut is better than in your average high street shop.

The price is mid range but although some items may seem a bit pricey, you are paying for better quality and designs that will carry on working in your wardrobe for years to come. I should point out I'm not affiliated with Cabi and this is just my first impression of something new to me.

Deborah kindly came to my home with the whole of the Spring Collection so I could have a one to one session and I tried on so many great items, I was spoilt for choice.

Here are some of my favourite pieces.

This Botanical Kimono is not something I would normally go for but I really liked how the geometric print breaks up the floral design and teamed with a bright Yellow Cami it looks fresh.

I'm a huge fan of wearing Red and Deborah showed me how to turn this Siren wrap dress in to a completely different look. That's why It's great to have a stylist on board that can give you great tips and push you out of your comfort zone.

This was one of my favourites and I don't normally go for the boho look but this Poet jacket and Discovery Trouser felt so comfortable and easy to wear. I can imagine living in this in the Summer and it would be great for travelling. I'm sure I'm not the only one mentally planning where they can escape to for some sun once we've got through this current time!

This Green library jacket would work with so many different looks, dressed down with blue jeans and a white t-shirt and trainers or dressed up Chanel style with a little black dress and ballet pumps.

Pretty in Pink. This blazer is part of the Grace suit and it's on my wish list. It's all in the detail, scarves can make such a difference to an outfit too.

Which outfit do you like most?

I could have created so many different wearable outfits and as I was trying things on I found myself thinking of my friends and who would suit what, so I have booked a Cabi party for when life gets back to normal. Fashion should be fun and shopping for new clothes should be a positive experience which I feel has been sadly lacking on the high street recently, especially for women hitting midlife who don't feel represented out there.

We all know there has been a sharp increase on shopping on line for convenience but maybe Cabi's home selling marketing might help bridge the gap for those wanting a more personal shopping experience. If you're thinking that direct home selling is not for you Cabi have been forward thinking to also create the Cabi Ap. Recently launched so you can watch style shows, see the full collection, create looks with previously ordered items which helps make sure you get the most of your wardrobe and then order on line.

I've been converted!

To find out more visit https://deborahrichardson.cabionline.uk/

Keep being fabulous!

Rachel x

March 16, 2020

Is your wardrobe colour confident?

Colour Reveals and Wardrobe Renewal with Rhona Langan Style Illuminated.

How often do you clear out your clothes or evaluate your personal style and how colour confident colour is your wardrobe? I used to think I was pretty good at this as I love nothing more than packing away the last seasons' clothes and bringing out the new. It's purely for space practicality but it's like greeting old friends you've forgotten, especially if they still fit you!

I was slightly nervous before inviting the lovely Rhona Langan, Founder of Style Illuminated into my wardrobe. What we choose to wear each day is such a personal choice and I’d booked in with Rhona for a full wardrobe review. The clothes we choose to wear shows the world how we want to be seen and often heard so there's an element of judgement involved. I avoid ironing as much as possible, it's a reaction to months spent ironing in Denmark as an au pair in my twenties, with an over zealous housewife. I was surprised to find myself spending the evening before pulling out the worst offending creases and ironing like mad

I love fashion and like to think I’m quite good at knowing what suits me best, but I’ve never had my colours done before and was intrigued to find out more.

After a long career in the fashion industry, including as style ambassador for Phase Eight, Rhona took the plunge and created her own styling company. Rhona offers colour reveal services helping women discover the best neutral and accent colours to create a wardrobe that fills you with confidence. I confess to living in black for many years but now I love wearing bright colours, it forces me to be more visible and definitely lifts my mood. Some women can be scared to try new brighter colours and having someone like Rhona come and help you is a great step forward.

The tester drape process threw up a few surprises, colours that I’d previously worn a lot no longer seemed to suit my skin tone when compared to others. I’ve worn lots of earthy, burgundy colours which I can now see made my skin appear duller and more tired after seeing how luminous a bright Fuchsia Pink made my skin look brighter.

Women are notoriously bad at spending time and money on themselves but when you think about how much you spend annually on your wardrobe, I think a styling consultation is a money saving exercise. The shift to having a more sustainable wardrobe is about buying less but making sure what you have is higher quality and clothes that work harder for you. Once we worked out my colour palette and discovered I am a Winter person, Rhona moved on to my wardrobe. Rhona is part of growing group of women who’ve launched styling careers in their fifties, I think age is an added bonus as a stylist; they can use their own personal experiences in a session which helps put a client at ease. There was definitely no wardrobe judgement. I found it quite a therapeutic session; working our way through every item in my wardrobe, it really made me think about how my clothes make me feel and if they brought me joy when I wear them, so maybe Marie Kondo’s decluttering lessons have something in them.

There’s a misconception that a personal stylist is going to come and make you get rid of all your wardrobe and start again but I don’t think that’s the case. I do have a pile of clothes heading for the charity shop, some I will sell on Ebay, but the majority have remained. There are a couple of items that I’m just not ready to part with yet and Rhona gave me new ideas to style them differently with the right accent colours.

I’ve been left with my own Winter colour palette card full of bold primary colours, that I have already used whilst out shopping optimistically for Summer t-shirts, along with a list of ideas of how I can add to my wardrobe. I need to accessorise more with coloured bags, belts and jewellery and I will be more aware of gaps in my wardrobe rather than randomly buying items that I probably don’t need.

My wardrobe has been refreshed with new ideas and style combinations; I’m looking forward to seeing how I can style things up differently. I've already noticed a difference in how I plan my outfits now and I'm being more creative in mixing outfits together. If you've been put off in the past by using a personal stylist I'd definitely recommend it.

For more information about Rhona’s services please visit www.styleilluminated.co.uk

Keep being fabulous
Rachel x

March 8, 2020

International Women’s Day 2020

International Women's Day* is celebrated on the 8th of March every year. It is a focal point in the movement for women's rights and is celebrated in many countries around the world. It is a day when women are recognised for their achievements without regard to divisions, whether national, ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political.

This years' theme for International Women's Day is #EachforEqual and I was delighted to be involved in the Chantelle campaign as part of their celebrations.

"An equal world is an enabled world.

Individually, we're all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day.

We can actively choose to challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve situations and celebrate women's achievements.

Collectively, each one of us can help create a gender equal world.

Let's all be #EachforEqual" #IWD

I loved reading all the positive messages of support to other women shared on social media yesterday and although it seems a shame we have to dedicate a special day to do this, it's a great reminder to us all. I'm often saddened when I read or hear women judging other women and not showing support. I think we all have to be more conscious of the fact that it's ok to be different; to have our own opinions. But in world where women are striving to be seen and heard with equality, the least we can do is be supportive of each other. That's what made this Chantelle shoot so special, the mix of women they chose was amazing. We are all so different and some I'd never met before but we bonded quickly, and by sharing our own stories, this helped create the most beautiful and natural images. These are the kind of images that I want to see out there in fashion marketing and media. All ages, sizes, backgrounds and colours together.

"Chantelle has always been all about empowering women with different body shapes, making them feel positive in their body and mind. More recently, our goal has been to redefine the way lingerie is portrayed, reflect better the world we live in, and drive the lingerie industry into a new area of creativity, avoiding stereotypes and bringing meaning to it all."

IWD remind us all that: "We are all parts of a whole. Our individual actions, conversations, behaviors and mindsets can have an impact on our larger society.

Collectively, we can make change happen. Collectively, we can each help to create a gender equal world." I'm a huge believer in women helping each other and when we work together we become so much stronger, it's one of the reasons I seek out female collaborations so much.

Modelling lingerie is now one of my favourite jobs, it's when I seem to be at my most comfortable for some strange reason. If I'd have been told I would be having days like this, modelling lingerie with a group of women I've never met before, I would have run a mile. That's the beauty of being comfortable in my own skin as I approach fifty.

It's also the beauty of spending the day with four amazing and supportive women, all with very different backgrounds and stories to tell, all equal in value.

(It helped that we spent the day in the Chantelle #softstretch range which is literally so comfortable you forget you're wearing it!).

Midlife women have been dismissed by the media and fashion industry for too long, particularly when it comes to lingerie and swimwear campaigns. I feel like I've found my voice and I want to make sure I'm heard. One of the joys of hosting my own podcast

Liberte Free to Be is being able to share other women's stories and hopefully inspire others. My IWD2020 pledge is to continue using my platform to champion other womens' achievements and help share their story. What's your pledge?

"The five influencers in the campaign are all from backgrounds that empower women, they talk about and promote body positivity, femininity, inclusivity and everyday life as a woman. They all support women's rights in one way or another. They are all real women and all have incredible stories to tell."

Please give these fabulous ladies a follow over on Instagram because they are such an inspiration Kaz Foncette, Emma Smyth, Rachael Sealy and Grace Latter.

Keep being fabulous!
Rachel x

More from the blog

Social Bubble - On Instagram

Wrong or no access token.

LIBERTÉ FREE TO BE

Liberte Free to Be champions women who are embracing life and leaving a trail of inspiration along the way. Inspiring others to become more confident in body and mind.

We all have a story to tell.
 

STEP OUT OF THE BUBBLE FACEBOOK GROUP

If you're looking for a safe space to share experiences, challenges and successes with a global community of women finding their own way through midlife, then come and join the group.

Join Now
 

SIGN UP TO OUR NEWSLETTER

Please wait...

Thank you for sign up!